Monday, August 31, 2009

Mosh Pit Doggie Style


First of all, if you think this is going to be one of my infamous sexual exploits, well it ain't. So I won't disappoint you later, I 'll tell you up front. I've had to deal with a lot of my own personal issues and I think I almost have them worked out. I had to let some things go that were really putting me in a mental tail spin and that shit ain't good for me on no level. I've had to reconcile a lot of things that had been plaguing me for years and it was not healthy for me to keep revisiting those things in my mind because they kept me from moving forward and were constantly cluttering up my mind.

Either way, it's pretty much over and I am moving forward from this point. Those who know me know what I'm talking about. Life is just to short to be caught up in emotional black holes. That goes for people to. I really don't have time for the mind games and immature "she-nanegans". Yes, I misspelled it on purpose. So what. Regardless, I got my game face back on and I'm cruisin' back on the my own groove. I got a whole new host of friends out there that support what I am doing and I am reciprocating the groove their diggin'.

So yeah, in my past, I was an ominous prick. I really don't know how I lived with myself but I made it through this far. I've learned where to apply my prickyness and boy has he got some shit for you now. I guess turning 51 in a couple more weeks isn't turning out to be half as bad as I thought it would. I might even get a few birthday gifts after all the shit I've been through. If not fuck em. I can get it myself.

As for all those who have read my blogs and have had a jowl dropping moment. Get the fuck over it. Besides, a couple stories are mere fabrication but I'll never tell you which ones they are. It's the power of being able to write. I have a unique gift of being able to weave fact and fiction into a story and make it so believable you would think it was for real. Oh, and stop trying to figure out which ones are the fibs. You will never be able to do it and I think you know who I'm talking about. I was psychoanalyzing people for quite some time. I'm a big enough nut, I don't need another one screwing shit up.

With all that said, my weekend has been glorious because I have been able to shed some emotional dead weight. I have been able to relax and actually have a chance to reflect back on all the shit that has been plaguing my tender emotional state and laugh at all of it. How silly of me, won't let this happen again. So thanks to all my blogger support for seeing me through this and all those wonderful words of support. What would I have done without you folks by my side? And as for that serial mental rapist, my ego was stroked but thats about it, bah bye!!!

And now I leave you this to ponder: "There is a wisdom brothers and sisters that stands above all others. Never, ever. No matter what. Drop your egg." - Lovelace -"Happy Feet"

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what....



Don't eat chicken sandwiches

You have probably seen this floating around the internet already but I thought it was cute so I am posting it here.

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.' 'Why?' he asked. She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!' 'Let me see' he said.'Okay' and she showed him. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.
He said to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!'
She asked if she could look, so he showed her! She said 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!

Girls night out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

****
A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb"

****
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me.""I know !" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-sevenstitches."

****
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"

And thats all for today, have fun out there folks, and be careful...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Christine's question and my reponse

Christine asked this question and so I am honoring her request by posting this: Ok what do you do for a living or at leisure?

As a living, I am an IT Project Manager for the North Carolina Department of Transportation. This pays my bills and gives me a modest income to support my scotch habit and occasional boating jaunt (I am a power boater). I usually rent a specific condo in Oceanside (The better side of Va Beach) and chill. It is my private place and I do not take anyone but Ginger with me when I go. Ginger is some what the center of my life now and she doesn't mind my misgivings. Dogs are so great at unconditional love. We could learn a lot from them. Except for the butt sniffing thing.

Music is my other passion and although I am not an accomplished musician. I enjoy playing normally for myself and Ginger. She just puts her paws over her ears, seriously. My other music passion is that I am working on producing a couple of local artist and getting there video and audio projects recorded and marketed. Other details of this are part of my private life so I won't go into any long drawn out explanations.

I enjoy my privacy a lot but I am also a very lonely man. I am trying to get past that and be more outgoing. Other parts of my life I keep very private because I have been hurt by letting people in who did not have good intentions or my feelings at heart. So it is hard for me to open up to people. I'm trying but it is hard. So I crawl back in my shell and wait for the next opportunity.

The fact that I am saying this much is a testament that I starting to overcome my fears. I just hate putting my heart out there and it gets crushed and that’s where I am now. I sulk a bit, drink a bit of scotch, read a good book and get over it and I am back on target. I try not to dwell to much on life's issues. Besides, several women think I would make a good husband and unfortunately, they are all married. So that sums up my living and my leisure. Oh. I also enjoy going to VT football games. My nephew was playing until he tore his ACL in practice and now has to sit out this season to recover.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Scattered bunch of crap going on...

Saturday was a pretty good day for me. I spent most of the day working with my artist Michael from HipHopWallStreet. We were able to lay down 4 vocal tracks from him and two from his cousin. Michael is a young motivational speaker and he uses Hip Hop to deliver his messages. We also taped 4 video commercial spots to promote his work. Two weeks ago, I was working with him and Tony (guitarist) from the Winans to lay down some other tracks. For those who don't know that I am a music producer, well this is one of the artist I work for. I have another but his contract is pending and I can't discuss him right now.

Spent most of Sunday in cleaning house and not much of anything else. Later that evening, I finished the rest of my class work. Scored a 90% on my DBMS test and 100% on my Disaster Recovery test so all is good with the world.

Monday was pretty much the same as any other day. I did manage to complete editing some documents I had been putting on the back burner. Also got in a little bit of blog time after completing my task for the day. Yes, I keep my office neat.

Tuesday was as usual. Did pretty much the same as monday. I had an eye appointment to get my eyes checked, I'm 50 years old people. The don't see like they use to. I broke my extra set and my primary set has to many scratches to be effective any more. Well, my eyes are fine and I was able to get a nice pair of glasses for $24 after all my great state health plan deductions. I'll post a picture of me wearing my new glasses when they come in.

Got home and took Ginger to the dog park. My friend Tracy was at the park with her dog Chance so I got a picture of them both. No she is not an item in my life so don't even think it. We had a bit of excitement at the park that day. One of the dogs cornered a squirrel and caught it and was running around the park with the poor squirrel in her mouth with the squirrel still crying out. By the time someone was able to catch the dog, she had killed the squirrel but not without receiving a last act of defiance bite on her front left paw. The dogs owner was in shock and some of the other park patrons helped her to her car and got her dog to the vet to get the wound cleaned and dressed. Everyone else was pretty shaken for the rest of the evening. Some of Ginger's playmates showed up later so we stayed until 9:00 so she could get some play time in.

So that wraps up this week so far. I'm sure I'll have a new story from my Oceanside trip this weekend. Drop your comments and tell me what your thinking. So any questions about what I do for a living or for leisure, nows your time to ask.

Hump Day Relief

I thought I would lighten the mood a bit and treat you to a little humor. I know I can be a bit dry and boring, especially when I am writing something about myself. So with no further ado, here a few jokes I like.





A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.

"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed."

"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife" replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".

Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that... it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."

*****

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,

"Master, may I grant you one wish?"

Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything."

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you." The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

*****

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small southern town out in the country. She orders the fried chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she chokes on a chicken bone.

Well, these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking, and they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over, and the second country boy starts licking his asshole.

She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his coveralls back up and says to the other excitedly, "You're right Billy Bob, that Hind-Lick Maneuver works like a charm."

*****

There are these three girls and their boyfriends all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decided to give their boyfriends nicknames. So they asked the first girl what she called her boyfriend. And she says, "I call my man 7-up." They ask her," Why do you call your man that," and she says," Because he's seven inches long and is always up. They ask the second girl what she calls her man. She says," I call my man Mountain Dew." They ask," Why do you call your man that," and she says," Because he likes to Mount me and to Do me." They ask the third girl the same thing and she says, "I like to call my man Jack Daniels." They look at her puzzled and say," Why do you call your man that, Jack Daniels is a Hard Liquor," and she says, "Exactly."

*****
...and thats all for now, tell me one of your favorite jokes. Post it in the comments section or you can email me anonymously if you don't feel brave enough. My address is in my profile.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Amazonian Beauty (Dedicated To All Strong Women)

I met my good friend Yust Lundgren when I was stationed onboard the USS Peleliu. We shared a friendship with another good friend Patrick Duffy whom passed some years ago. We all enjoyed our time in the Navy and as we took on different duty stations, we drifted apart. Earlier this year, I reconnected with my dear friend and we have since been communicating via Facebook on a regular basis. Yust is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known and I respect his counsel and wisdom regardless of his life style choices. He was the driving force for me sharing some of my past with you. Yust wrote the following poem and I thought it was so indicative of some of my dearest online friends who visit my blog. So I share this song to all the beautiful women I have met online and even those I have not had the privilege to know. Remember, I did not write this, I am only sharing it with you so please don't read any more into it than it being a beautiful poem. Feel free to express your feelings about the poem in the comments section.

Amazonian Beauty (Dedicated To All Strong Women)
Oh woman of Amazonian beauty,

Those breasts are ripe for me,

You have the heart of Joan,

Sister of the fire,

You are Venus by the sea,

Your neck I kiss with passion,

You crush me so divine,

I wrap my arms around you,

Working you in Braille,

Giant with luscious lips ready in full bloom,

Hot with the taste of desire,

It is I who now must swoon,

Carry me beside the fire,

My goddess beauty in the flesh,

Ravage me til dawn,

It's so nice to have a strong woman,

To take this gentle man,

Take me in the wood!

Roll me in the sand!

You being the strong one,

Makes me no less the man,

Spirits of the wood do sing,

Drums beating, hand to hand,

With unsaid incantation,

Drive me to ecstasy, so grand,

Yes my giant of a woman,

You are the one for me,

As we dance round the fire,

It's sublime, so heavenly,

Spirits of the night we are,

Flying over flame and embers,

Passionate souls do burn in flight,

Love me powerfully, tender,

To you my will surrendered

Take me in your arms,

This beautiful Starwood night,

I'll remember you for the rest of my life....


The Faery King 2002

The Gossamer Project

Some of The Faery King's recorded work with Jo Ball on Cello including this poem

Monday, August 17, 2009

Chapter One - Enroute to the Spider Queen

A loud crash and explosion shakes the ship violently. Explosion after explosion continue to shake the ship until there is complete silence. Derces shouts out, "What the hell happened? Get me a damage report. Did something hit us?" The sound of the ship creaking and groaning set a signal that all was not right. Warning beacons were going off as she shouted again, "Get me a damage report now. Where the hell is that maintenance chief Zester?" Daymar was busy trying get a damage assessment. He barked out, "The communications is down below D deck all the way to aft. We have lost containment in 35% of the ship. The only thing holding this rust bucket together is the fact the lower bulk heads were closed." Another violent shaking threw us all over the bridge. Derces was still shouting, "Somebody go find that damn maintenance chief and get his ass up here now!" I looked at Daymar and he was still busy trying to access the damage. "All right, I'll go find him."

I took off down the corridor to the engineering section to find the chief when another violent shake throws me against the bulkhead knocking me out. I start going into a dream state. I can hear explosions and gun fire going of all around me. Smoke fills the air and I look around. I see several faces but I know something is wrong. Most of these people were dead. They were killed in the battle for Ventaria or at least thats what I remembered. An explosion goes off near me and I am throw into the air, landing on a mound of rubble. I feel myself waking up again, and someone calling my name. "Lieutenant Bryman, Lieutenant Bryman, are you all right?" I shake my head violently and I see Daymar. "Daymar, what happened?" He stated, you almost bought it, the last one got three of the squad." I asked him, "Who do we have left?" He said, "We only have the two new recruits." I tell him, "Lets get the hell out of here before we get hit again!" Daymar agreed, "I'm with you on the LT! I shouted to the other two left, "Get your asses moving, were getting out of here." We take off through the smoke and fire to find safety. Immediately, another explosion goes off and Daymar dives for me knocking me to the ground and knocking me out.

I feel myself being shaken violently, I woke up and Zester is standing over me shaking me. "Bryman, wake up! Are you OK?" I say, "Yeah, good you came along. What happened?" He just looked at me and shrugged his soulders, "If I knew, I would be fixing it. I can't reach anyone!" I told him, "Derces wants you on the bridge pronto! Help me up!" We both head back to the bridge.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Beginning of an Internet Novel

I think its time to show you what goes on in my mind now that you think you know how my mind works. I have been planning to present an Internet novel for your reading pleasure. It will no contain any sex. I am not writing for Penthouse or Hustler and if I was, I would probably be a millionaire now. I enjoy scifi because that's what I do best. I don't know how long it is going to take me to finish because the thoughts are still forming in my tiny duke head. Yeah, you heard that one before. So, sit back and put your scifi cap on and enjoy my presentation.

I will give you a basic backdrop before I start the novel. This should be your reference for the main characters and what the premise of the story is about. Please do not copy this because it is copyright protected and I will have my lawyer team give you a visit. I am serious about that, so please don't test me.

The story takes place on a long haul space freighter in transit to the Spider Queen planet in the Gaelexia galaxy. The galaxy is powered by a massive gas giant create most of the solar energy for a host of eighteen inhabited planets. The Spider Queen is the fifth planet in the system and is only accessible by going through a gas nebula a least 15 to 18 parsecs depending on the time of the planets rotation. Currently, all planets are colonized with humanoids from various planets through out the systems. No aliens exist as of yet but that can change as the colonies start expanding.

The freighters name is Gersemi, and it makes it runs hauling equipment and medical supplies to the various colonies. It is a free freighter as it is owned by it's captain. She won the ship from a Ventarian merchant when he ran short and cash to pay off Zeronian pirates. The ship is in constant need of repair and the crew is sparse but can usually take care of most of the ships needs. Another source of income for private freighters is the local smuggling of desired but illegal items including drugs, rare items, and illegal contraband. It is not uncommon for ships to be boarded by the Zertes police force, a galactic force steeped in corruption and known to work with Zeronian pirates. The ship has no weapons other that those the crew carries for personal safety.

The captain is Derces Reydra, a descendant of Earth but now resides in the Omega galaxy on the colonized planet Vortesa.

The navigator is Daymar Gotetma. He comes from a long line of Ventarian navigators and is highly knowledgeable about the various star systems throughout the galaxies. He is an expert at skip jumping, a process of sling shooting a ship from star system to star system with precise navigation. He respects his captain but sometimes questions her judgement of freight choices.

Zester is the ships maintenance chief and know one knows this class of freighter better than he does. Not much is known about his background and he keeps to himself.

Oh, my name is Forseti Byrman and I am the freight chief, I make sure everything is stored in it's proper place. I know all the hiding places on the ship and even some the captain doesn't know about. I was an officer during the battle for Ventaria, the Ventarian home planet and was responsible for getting Daymar hired as part of the crew, he was a rebel in the cause and literally save my life in a heavy conflict with opposing forces.

So, you met some of the crew and got a basic run down of what is going on. The story is being told from the point of view of the freighter chief and will switch points of view based on the characters involved. You might find that there are stories within stories so you will have to keep up with what is going on. So are you game for this? Well, don't sit there, start typing. Tell me what you think. Chapter one starts this week so keep a lookout for when it posts.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Just couldn't let it alone, could you.

You would think I could leave a good thing alone but you should know me better than that. Being the person that I am, I am always working at improving myself. I don't mince words when it comes to proving my point. Most folks would say I have the tenacity of a pit bull. When I bite into something, I'm in it for the long haul. To bad my past relationships didn't fair as well. But that's me, I am always searching for the better.

Well, like I said, I am always looking to improve myself and I am willing to go whatever distance to get to where I wanna go. The Navy was probably one of the best outlets I had for the adventurous part of my character.

I am reminded of a story about a monkey who was sitting in a fruit tree. Matter of fact, he was surrounded by many fruit trees. Each tree yielded an abundance of fruit and he was happy to be in that tree. He sampled fruit from various levels of the tree, they were all good to him. Now the other trees were within relative reaching distance and it would be no problem to jump from tree to tree and sample the fruit from all of them. Getting tired of the same fruit he pondered should he go to another tree and try it's fruit. About now I think some of you are starting to..., well get your mind out of the gutter, it ain't going that way. Now lets get back to the monkey. he was ponder leaving the tree he was at so he could taste the fruit from another tree. He perched himself on a limb and reached out for the limb of a neighboring tree. He could just barley make it and was able to grab hold while still holding on to the other limb with out falling. Now he was in a precarious position stretched between two trees, now unable to decide to move forward and let go of what he knew and or to let go of the other limb and stay put. Well hours passed and he could not decide which direction to go. Eventually his arms grew tired and he let go all together falling to the forest floor where he was quickly devoured by a lion waiting below. The morale of the story is never stand between destiny and decision, you'll fail and the lions will eat you up.

No, I know what your thinking. You think I'm that monkey, right? Well, your wrong. I'm the monkey that made it across to the other tree. Well, in keeping with the past discussion, I found some more interesting data on INFJ traits. Pretty interesting stuff. Here is what they had to say.

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

Introverted iNtuition

Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightful and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.

Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.

Introverted Thinking

The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.

Extraverted Sensing

INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.

Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging

by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Copyright © 1996-2007 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt

So are you intrigued yet? I thought so. Well don't just sit there speechless, tell me about it. Oh, Tom Selleck is an INFJ, who would have thunk. Actually it's was quite obvious to me since we both share a common thread. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The solution is in the clutter

I know some of you will think what the hell? No, it's nothing bad or devious as I am purported to be. Just something about me that makes me unique from a lot of other people. The fact is that what most people see as normal, I see mathematical formulas. It's just the way my brain works. This is where I get my sense of intuition. If something doesn't compute, it shows as an error in my mind and I start calculating possible solutions. Oh yeah, your saying, yup, he's gone nuts. I jest you not.
I attribute this to the reason I am an introvert. So lets explore some of the advantages of my condition if you want to call it that.

10) Work Well With Others, Especially In One-to-One Relationships

9) Maintain Long-Term Friendships

8) Flexible

7) Independent

6) Strong Ability To Concentrate

5) Self-Reflective

4) Responsible

3) Creative, Out-of-the-Box thinking

2) Analytical Skills That Integrate Complexity

1) Studious and Smart

I had recently took a test (Myers-Briggs) to determine my personality type and these were the results:

You seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. You want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. You are conscientious and committed to your firm values. You develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. You are organized and decisive in implementing your vision.

So I hope this explains a little bit more about why I am who I am.

Here are some other traits I poses:

Enjoy time alone
Consider only deep relationships as friends
Feel drained after outside activities, even if they were fun
Good listener
Appear calm and self-contained
Think then speak or act

Want to learn more? Visit: http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Man That Loved Women

If I could say that someone was directing my life, I would have to say Blake Edwards was doing the production, writing the screen play and directing the scenes. My tag line would be: Deciding which woman in the world he loves most is driving him out of his mind. But women have that affect one me and I don't mind it. Not one bit.

Like the character in the movie, I had a major womanizing problem and boy was it a problem. You could call it charisma, or just plain luck. Once I graduated from high school, all I could think about was women. If I could list all the names of the women I had dated, it would look like a phone book. I was by no means a Casanova or Don Juan playboy. I was just being myself. Things just happened. I know, some guy is now saying to himself, "What does he have that I don't?" You got me at that man, I don't know. It just is. All I do know is that I have come to grips with it and have made some drastic changes in the way I see women in my life today. It didn't take a psychiatrist to fix the problem, just good old fashioned self control. I've become a selfless romantic.

I'm sitting alone at the dog park watching my Ginger play. This very beautiful brunette woman comes and sit down near me and starts up conversation. I try to act nonchalant and unconcerned but she looks into my eyes. I don't know what she sees but a smile comes on her face. We start to pass pleasantries about the dogs and the weather but I can see that she is looking for something more. It seems she is interested in me but I become disengaged. When I leave, I can see a bit of frustration on her face. I want to go back and apologize but I can't put myself back in that situation again. So I go. I still see her from time to time at the park. We talk but that's pretty much about it.

What is it about commitment that so many men fear? Is it that they don't want their feelings hurt? Oh, I've been down that road too many times. Maybe that's why I am they way I am. I am not afraid to express my feelings now. I've been rejected before, I just pick myself up and move on. It's not worth the time to linger. It even worked to my advantage once. The woman said no to me and I just said to her that I wish you well then. Two hours later, shes knocking at my door with a bottle of champagne an apology and not much else. Not going there so don't ask.

Now, I take what I say and do very carefully. I know that I can be an excellent husband to some woman out there. But which one, so many to choose from. Oh, I bet you are ready to give me both barrels now. The nerve of him, who does he think he is? So I apologize to those women who think I must be some kind of, well, I don't want to type all those adjectives and explicatives. I know by now that I must look like Charlie Sheen's character in (Two and a Half Men). No I am in no way that pathetic. He can be an obnoxious, pompous ass at times.

So I keep looking, somewhere, the woman who will eventually be the death of me will come along and sweep me off my feet. Oh, I don't think there will be a book or movie about it. I don't even think there will be much fanfare. I will just die in her arms content to see her beauty and smile and say I love you as the lights fade to dark. If your are going to rent the movie, I suggest getting the 1977 version with Charles Denner playing the role of Bertrand. You'll thank me for it. But women, please don't show up at my door step with an apology, a bottle of champagne and nothing else. My neighbors just wouldn't understand.

Monday, August 10, 2009

What goes on at the dog park stays at the dog park...

I would have to say that I have resorted to the lowest form of single life. The dog park daddy. You know, the Caesar Milan guy, the local dog whisperer. Yeah, I hear you married folk out there snickering. "The only social outlet he has is at the dog park." Not true, it's by choice not design but my pitiful singularity is not what I wanted to write about. You see, after spending quality time at a social events for dogs, I find the dogs have socialization down to an art. When was the last time you greeted someone by sniffing their and I'm not going there, alright. Or a friendly tongue kiss all over the mouth. I still haven't figured out the genitalia sniffing thing, I guess it's to recognize who left the message on the bush next to the fence thingy.

When I decided to get a dog well over three years ago. Yeah that's her in the picture with the chewed out frisbee around her neck. I was content on taking her to the local parks for walks but I discovered she was missing something. She kept wanting to check out these other creatures walking in the opposite direction. I have to admit, I want to check out a few of the creatures too! Oh, you are sick puppies! Not the dogs, the female masters. But that's not what we're here for. A favorite TV show (It's me or the dog) recommended that you should take your dog to a dog park so they can learn to socialize with other dogs. WTF? A place especially for dogs to meet and greet? Play dates? I am just so out of it.

I located the park that was closest to me and we jumped in the Jeep and away we went. I rolled down the windows and out went her head, nose in the wind and ears flapping in the breeze. She was loving it. We get to the park and it is wall to wall dogs. Big ones and I mean the kind you could put a saddle on and ride. Medium size ones where running and playing everywhere. The small ones were nestled around there masters in fear that they might be the unsuspecting meal of a bigger dog.

Occasional scuffles and fights break out and they get broke up or splashed with a bucket of water but they usually are back playing with each other in a matter minutes after the episode. Now I have to ask this question because I can't find a good concrete answer anywhere. Are male Labs gay? I'm mean, they spend most of their collective park time trying to hump each other. I know, they say it's a domination thing but come on, these dogs have the look like they are really enjoying the act. All humped up and looking like, "Yeah, I'm gonna give it to ya, get that tail out of the way so I can get to the good stuff!"

Alright, I'm starting to get a sick mind now and that is exactly why I have a female dog. NO humping! Granted I have seen a female dog hump too! Although Ginger's other habits are put into question and we won't go there either. Needless to say kisses in the face are verboten. So now I leave you with my favorite doggie commercial. This one is so me. Enjoy! Feel free to comment about your doggie experiences.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Lists - Ten things that make you mad.

Self I had to think long and hard for this one but I was able to come up with ten things that just torque my bits. It's things like this that just make me want to go up the person and either beat the crap out of them or give them a good shaking and tell them, what the hell were you thinking. So here's my list from the least to the most nerving:

  1. Tail tats - Now some can right out sexy but if they had to reorder more ink to get the tat finished, you should not have gotten it in the first place. Beside, if this is the only way a guy can remember your name, you got some problems. This one didn't bother me as much since I don't know any woman with a tail tat.
  2. Low rise jeans and belly button piercing - I don't really want to know you had a Brazilian and even though the piercing may be cute, I do find it quite over the top when it comes to self expression. Beside, I do not want to be focused on that part of the female anatomy. If you are not fit, it is a real big turnoff for me. Nothing worse than biscuit rolls falling over the side of your jeans.
  3. Hipster mothers - I don't have to go into long details on this one but if you dress like your teenage daughter, well, just don't. It just sets my bells and whistles off.
  4. Pants hanging half off the butt - If I could make a citizens arrest for indecent exposure. I would have everyone of them behind bars so they could experience what it is like to not be able to wear a belt. This is just outright gross fashion statement if you want to call it that for any race.
  5. Door knobs in the ear - Guys, this is just disgusting and self degrading. If you want to get anywhere in the corporate world, well, it just ain't gonna happen with those eye blinding pieces of glass hanging off your ears. Even if you could afford the real things, it just ain't right in my book for men to have earrings.
  6. Wife beater tee shirts - The name itself just evokes a full body quiver. I don't like the name and I don't care that it is related to an article of clothing.
  7. Ebonics - When I pull up to the drive up window, I want to understand every word you are saying. If I can take the time to learn how to speak and verbalize in a coherent manor, then I think that everyone else who wants to communicate with me should do the same. Don't speak to me in a dialect I don't want to understand and I won't speak to you in tongues, OK? Yes, I can. I was not an agonistic all my life and we're not going to go into that right now. Email me on FaceBook if you want an answer.
  8. Texting in public venues - This just sends me into a funk cloud when I am trying to watch a movie or enjoy a concert and folks clicking keys at light speed to send messages back and fourth. Give it a rest and save it for after the movie or concert, please?
  9. Cellphones while driving - Unless and I mean unless you have hands free, don't drive while using your cell phone. I bought my vehicle especially because it had a hands free option. I look at the crash statistics and it is just sad to read the number of accidents and lives lost because people lost their attention due to cell phone use when driving and that includes texting.
  10. This is the one you've been waiting for, the ultimate thing that pisses me off the most. Well here it is. Me! Oh what were you expecting, some political figure or stupid idiot out there. Hell no, it's me. I'm pissed off because I should not be pissed at what other people do. I just don't have control over it. What I do have control over is me and it is about time I started doing just that. I mean what better place to start changing the world by changing yourself. If your perspective is skewed and you want to blame something, start with yourself. How can I remove the splinter in my brothers eye when I have a log in my own eye.
So, I gave you my list of 10, tell me about yours, maybe together we can start a trend a get some of these things that just piss us off out in the open and try to resolve them. BTW, I will be starting my online novel soon so stay tuned for details on the subject. Well, get busy, I want those lists. Don't let me have to come looking for you...

Monday, August 3, 2009

So you wanted to know me better!

I have to give kudos to my friend Tiff for the inspiration on this one. She did it so well, I had to give it my spin. So for those folks waiting for part 3 of my Australian romp, be patient, I'll have it out soon. I have to find a gentle way of putting things without going all Hustler on you. Yeah, it gets really graphic from here on and I don't like to treat any woman with disrespect so I am taking my time to tell the rest of the story and still leave her with her dignity intact. Likewise, I will never discuss any sexual escapades regarding any woman I was married to or maybe married to. Don't ask, I won't do it. So if we are dating and we break up, you could be the next episode on my blog and they said Libra's don't know how to have fun. So lets get back to this little thing I do all so well. Uh huh, yeah you thought I was gonna go there. Get your mind out of the gutter for a moment and enjoy some clean fun. Well, about as clean as I can keep it.

Feb 18, 1958 to Feb 7, 1959

Dog people are loyal and honest and obedient, guardians of the house at night.

Hmmm, except I lost my leash. But if marriage is bondage, chain me to the bedpost baby!

They can be counted on to keep secrets and for always doing the right thing.

I'm not telling a soul and I always try to be fair, balanced and impartial.

They can be emotionally distant and do not mix well in social gatherings where they are often seen as wallflowers.

Now this is a stretch. I don't do parties but I sure ain't no wallflower. I do prefer smaller venues thank you.

They do better with one-on-one relationships and find happiness in the happiness they bring to others, such as finding the most perfect gifts for their friends.

Now were talkin, I think I established that in a couple of my earlier blogs.

While it is true that they have sharp tongues and are a bit stubborn and eccentric, in a work situation they tend to work very well with other people.

My motto baby, don't push me and I won't push you unless of course, well I think you figured that one out.

What is more, they always seem to have money and make excellent leaders. Because of their high moral stance, they are inspiring beyond measure.

and I don't have to flaunt it, OK, Dong-luh mah?

Sizzling Rice Soup and Chinese Cabbage are among the keys to good health!!

I make one mean cabbage soup and I love kimchee and sauerkraut. I've laid off the rice for now. Trying to drop a few pounds.

The Earth Dog is well grounded, both feet solidly on the ground.


Unless I'm taking a piss, get my drift!


Perfectionists at heart, they see that projects have a beginning and an end, and all they have to do is see things all the way through.


I wouldn't be a project manager without it. They got this dead on.


A driving force propels their lives and they know they must never waver in reaching their goals, whether it's dealing with people, daily projects, or sailing around the world.


Mawah? I think they meant scotch and women.


Earth Dogs are brimming with confidence and are always finding four-leaf clovers. Luck happens!


So does shit but you won't see me plucking four-leaf clovers from it. I have hit the lottery a couple of times.


In the Love Arena, they take a somewhat lackadaisical approach; i.e., love is no big deal, it's just a natural part of life. If it happens, fine, but no great enthusiasm is lost here.


Don't look for any wisdom here, they got me nailed on this one. You either love me or you don't but I don't care to be jerked around. Come with some game or go home to momma. I'm in it to win and you can be part of solution but your not gonna be a problem. If your with me I will treat you like a queen should be treated. Dong-luh mah?


The best person for the Earth Dog is a strongly independent someone who relishes freedom and has an identity apart from the relationship.


I couldn't ask for a more perfect woman. Damn, this is hitting close to the mark.


When the Earth Dog and their mate do come together, it will be beautiful.


Bing bada bing baby, lets make some sexy music and howl at the moon. Ain't no need for viagra here. I got it naturally and it shows. I am ready to get all Austin Powers on ya. Yeah baby...


Famous Dog People: Chiang Chin-Kuo, Zhou En-Lai, Lee Teng-Hui, Benjamin Franklin, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley,Jacques Cousteau, King Carl XVI Gustaf, Yitzhak Rabin, Golda Meir, Mother Teresa, Jane Goodall, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien


Short of Michael and the monkey woman, I think I'm in good company. Well I'll take that back just Michael.


So, a bit of self mock but I think they hit the mark for most of it. Once again, thanks Tiff for the inspiration. Your a sweet heart darlin.