Monday, August 10, 2009

What goes on at the dog park stays at the dog park...

I would have to say that I have resorted to the lowest form of single life. The dog park daddy. You know, the Caesar Milan guy, the local dog whisperer. Yeah, I hear you married folk out there snickering. "The only social outlet he has is at the dog park." Not true, it's by choice not design but my pitiful singularity is not what I wanted to write about. You see, after spending quality time at a social events for dogs, I find the dogs have socialization down to an art. When was the last time you greeted someone by sniffing their and I'm not going there, alright. Or a friendly tongue kiss all over the mouth. I still haven't figured out the genitalia sniffing thing, I guess it's to recognize who left the message on the bush next to the fence thingy.

When I decided to get a dog well over three years ago. Yeah that's her in the picture with the chewed out frisbee around her neck. I was content on taking her to the local parks for walks but I discovered she was missing something. She kept wanting to check out these other creatures walking in the opposite direction. I have to admit, I want to check out a few of the creatures too! Oh, you are sick puppies! Not the dogs, the female masters. But that's not what we're here for. A favorite TV show (It's me or the dog) recommended that you should take your dog to a dog park so they can learn to socialize with other dogs. WTF? A place especially for dogs to meet and greet? Play dates? I am just so out of it.

I located the park that was closest to me and we jumped in the Jeep and away we went. I rolled down the windows and out went her head, nose in the wind and ears flapping in the breeze. She was loving it. We get to the park and it is wall to wall dogs. Big ones and I mean the kind you could put a saddle on and ride. Medium size ones where running and playing everywhere. The small ones were nestled around there masters in fear that they might be the unsuspecting meal of a bigger dog.

Occasional scuffles and fights break out and they get broke up or splashed with a bucket of water but they usually are back playing with each other in a matter minutes after the episode. Now I have to ask this question because I can't find a good concrete answer anywhere. Are male Labs gay? I'm mean, they spend most of their collective park time trying to hump each other. I know, they say it's a domination thing but come on, these dogs have the look like they are really enjoying the act. All humped up and looking like, "Yeah, I'm gonna give it to ya, get that tail out of the way so I can get to the good stuff!"

Alright, I'm starting to get a sick mind now and that is exactly why I have a female dog. NO humping! Granted I have seen a female dog hump too! Although Ginger's other habits are put into question and we won't go there either. Needless to say kisses in the face are verboten. So now I leave you with my favorite doggie commercial. This one is so me. Enjoy! Feel free to comment about your doggie experiences.

11 comments:

The Dish said...

I hate our local dog park. I go there purely for Cute Dog's sake. There are so many dogs that are aggressive and/or need to be nuetered. The thing that gets me the most... Their is a no child under 7 rule. Yet there is always the ghetto pitbull owners that bring their toddlers, don't pay any attention to them, and then get pissed when little precious gets knocked over. Makes me want to punch someone in the face!

kenju said...

I have never been to a dog park. The last dog we had was fairly small and I was always afraid that she'd get hurt there.

Shiny Rod said...

Kenju - I take Ginger to Millbrook Exchange Park. They have a section for large dogs and a section for small dogs. Not a bad little park and I always volunteer time to help spread the mulch.

Christine said...

Sad to say, I have been banned from the dog park.

My little 8lb brussel griffon who is all meek and mild at home, literally attacks any other dog within three feet of him. It is a little funny the way the bigger dogs look..as if they are thinking "You can NOT be serious? I can swallow you whole without chewing." Still, he bared his teeth one too many times so...we've been banned. He is now in doggy therapy to work on his issues due to the incident.

Shiny Rod said...

@Christine - Welcome! I have a friend at the dog park that had the same problem with her dog. Prozac therapy did wonders. Her dog Bug is as mellow as a California pothead. Sorry to hear they banned you though, that sucks.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I hadn't seen that commercial! LOL. We've never had a dog, so no dog park experience. But, it sounds fun.

Jason said...

These two guys were made to walk their dogs while their wives made dinner. One of them had a German Shepherd, the other a Chihuahua.

The one with the German Shepherd said, "Hey there's a bar around the corner, follow my lead." So he put on sunglasses and walked into the bar with the dog. The owner said, "Hey you can't come in here with that dog!" And he said, this is my seeing eye dog. I'm blind. So the owner let him in.

The one with the Chihuahua put on his sunglasses and tried the same. The owner said, "Hey you can't come in here with that dog!" And he said, this is my seeing eye dog. I'm blind. And the owner said, "I've never heard of a Chihuahua being used as a seeing eye dog." And the guy paused for a second then said, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

JQ_Brat said...

I have yet to take bazooka to the dog park. We never had one until recently but it is still a bit of a drive to get there. He loves other dogs and he loves people but he is a pitbull and I always wonder how other people will react to him. I get very offended about the pitbull stereotype, of course, it could be learning experience for all those close minded assholes.

Shiny Rod said...

@ JQ_Brat - It's unfortunate that pits get the stigma as a bully breed because of them being used in fighting. Dozens of pits come to the park I take Ginger to and they play as well as any other dogs. It's all in the training. You train a good dog you have a good dog, you train a dog to be bad, your gonna get bit. So go ahead a take to the park. Dog park people love dogs, no one cares if you have a pit. Try him out on the leash first and then give him a little leeway and see how it goes from there. You'll love the experience. Just watch out for those snooty folks with the purse dogs.

Dave To You said...

Never been to a 'dog park'. I know of one where I used to live, I heard is pretty neat. Agility course, jogging track, big frizzbee field and even a snack bar. Keep by yourself or join your friend's friends in the mutt mosh pit.

tiff said...

Ye Olde Wake Foreste has a great dog park - one side tfor the little dogs and one for the bigger dogs. It's at Flaherty Park, and I think it's about 2 acres of open running space. You should try it!

I'd not date take our Aussie there...she has a weird thing about other dogs - sometimes aggressive, sometiems very playful. You just never know with her, and she's awful on a leash...