I would have to say that I have resorted to the lowest form of single life. The dog park daddy. You know, the Caesar Milan guy, the local dog whisperer. Yeah, I hear you married folk out there snickering. "The only social outlet he has is at the dog park." Not true, it's by choice not design but my pitiful singularity is not what I wanted to write about. You see, after spending quality time at a social events for dogs, I find the dogs have socialization down to an art. When was the last time you greeted someone by sniffing their and I'm not going there, alright. Or a friendly tongue kiss all over the mouth. I still haven't figured out the genitalia sniffing thing, I guess it's to recognize who left the message on the bush next to the fence thingy.
When I decided to get a dog well over three years ago. Yeah that's her in the picture with the chewed out frisbee around her neck. I was content on taking her to the local parks for walks but I discovered she was missing something. She kept wanting to check out these other creatures walking in the opposite direction. I have to admit, I want to check out a few of the creatures too! Oh, you are sick puppies! Not the dogs, the female masters. But that's not what we're here for. A favorite TV show (It's me or the dog) recommended that you should take your dog to a dog park so they can learn to socialize with other dogs. WTF? A place especially for dogs to meet and greet? Play dates? I am just so out of it.
I located the park that was closest to me and we jumped in the Jeep and away we went. I rolled down the windows and out went her head, nose in the wind and ears flapping in the breeze. She was loving it. We get to the park and it is wall to wall dogs. Big ones and I mean the kind you could put a saddle on and ride. Medium size ones where running and playing everywhere. The small ones were nestled around there masters in fear that they might be the unsuspecting meal of a bigger dog.
Occasional scuffles and fights break out and they get broke up or splashed with a bucket of water but they usually are back playing with each other in a matter minutes after the episode. Now I have to ask this question because I can't find a good concrete answer anywhere. Are male Labs gay? I'm mean, they spend most of their collective park time trying to hump each other. I know, they say it's a domination thing but come on, these dogs have the look like they are really enjoying the act. All humped up and looking like, "Yeah, I'm gonna give it to ya, get that tail out of the way so I can get to the good stuff!"
Alright, I'm starting to get a sick mind now and that is exactly why I have a female dog. NO humping! Granted I have seen a female dog hump too! Although Ginger's other habits are put into question and we won't go there either. Needless to say kisses in the face are verboten. So now I leave you with my favorite doggie commercial. This one is so me. Enjoy! Feel free to comment about your doggie experiences.