The Man That Loved Women

If I could say that someone was directing my life, I would have to say Blake Edwards was doing the production, writing the screen play and directing the scenes. My tag line would be: Deciding which woman in the world he loves most is driving him out of his mind. But women have that affect one me and I don't mind it. Not one bit.

Like the character in the movie, I had a major womanizing problem and boy was it a problem. You could call it charisma, or just plain luck. Once I graduated from high school, all I could think about was women. If I could list all the names of the women I had dated, it would look like a phone book. I was by no means a Casanova or Don Juan playboy. I was just being myself. Things just happened. I know, some guy is now saying to himself, "What does he have that I don't?" You got me at that man, I don't know. It just is. All I do know is that I have come to grips with it and have made some drastic changes in the way I see women in my life today. It didn't take a psychiatrist to fix the problem, just good old fashioned self control. I've become a selfless romantic.

I'm sitting alone at the dog park watching my Ginger play. This very beautiful brunette woman comes and sit down near me and starts up conversation. I try to act nonchalant and unconcerned but she looks into my eyes. I don't know what she sees but a smile comes on her face. We start to pass pleasantries about the dogs and the weather but I can see that she is looking for something more. It seems she is interested in me but I become disengaged. When I leave, I can see a bit of frustration on her face. I want to go back and apologize but I can't put myself back in that situation again. So I go. I still see her from time to time at the park. We talk but that's pretty much about it.

What is it about commitment that so many men fear? Is it that they don't want their feelings hurt? Oh, I've been down that road too many times. Maybe that's why I am they way I am. I am not afraid to express my feelings now. I've been rejected before, I just pick myself up and move on. It's not worth the time to linger. It even worked to my advantage once. The woman said no to me and I just said to her that I wish you well then. Two hours later, shes knocking at my door with a bottle of champagne an apology and not much else. Not going there so don't ask.

Now, I take what I say and do very carefully. I know that I can be an excellent husband to some woman out there. But which one, so many to choose from. Oh, I bet you are ready to give me both barrels now. The nerve of him, who does he think he is? So I apologize to those women who think I must be some kind of, well, I don't want to type all those adjectives and explicatives. I know by now that I must look like Charlie Sheen's character in (Two and a Half Men). No I am in no way that pathetic. He can be an obnoxious, pompous ass at times.

So I keep looking, somewhere, the woman who will eventually be the death of me will come along and sweep me off my feet. Oh, I don't think there will be a book or movie about it. I don't even think there will be much fanfare. I will just die in her arms content to see her beauty and smile and say I love you as the lights fade to dark. If your are going to rent the movie, I suggest getting the 1977 version with Charles Denner playing the role of Bertrand. You'll thank me for it. But women, please don't show up at my door step with an apology, a bottle of champagne and nothing else. My neighbors just wouldn't understand.