Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Ah! The dreads of life.


I am searching for a real good reason why tomorrow should even exist. Beside the premiere of a new scifi series, I am just clueless. You see, this would be any ordinary day. It happens to be a special day for me. I could explain it but what would it matter. We live an existence marked by time and for me it is mostly uneventful.

So I take from this that the things I can change, I do. Those that I can't, well, I'll leave that up to somebody else. Why argue over semantics? I mean, I can't for the life of me understand why people choose such trivial facts to argue about. Take for instance, I was in the store the other day and a husband was shopping with his with wife. They kept arguing about what he wanted and what she didn't like. He would put something in the basket and she would take it out and replace it with something else or a cheaper brand. She ended the argument by removing a package of steaks and telling him "Besides the steaks, guess what else you won't be getting?" I chuckled quitely. Not for him, I think she had had enough of his nonsense and she put her foot down and then some. It made me think, is that all I have to look forward to? Arguing about what to put in the grocery basket. I think not. I'll save my arguments for more inclusive items.

So being tomorrow or today or yesterday or last week will be/is/was my birthday depending on your perspective of time and when you decide to read my post. Well just keep it in mind that I ain't getting any younger. Before long, somone will be using my wit in a shit my dad says post. Have a nice day folks and enjoy getting old, I know I am.

****
A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

What'd You Think?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd have stopped at the first floor. Any smart woman knows that the rest is just a pipe dream.

The Dish said...

Fantastic and true! Happy Birthday!

kenju said...

Happy Birthday, Shiny Rod!!

Christine said...

Happy Birthday and where and what time is cake?

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Hahaha! Happy Birthday!

Evil Twin's Wife said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave to You said...

Hey..
Right about here was a link to youtube and "They say it's your birthday" Beatles but it wouldn't link so you're on your own on that.

Don't you start that why tomorrow or getting old crap because...well...I'm older than you and as Mr. Natural said..."It don't mean shit".

Stride on young fellow to your heart's and mind's dreams. Your footfalls may be slower than some but surer than most. You may never find what you are looking for and that could very well be the best part of your adventure. Always seeking, always questioning.

I just made that up for you kind sir but I guess it's something that floats around in me and something I live by albeit tucked away deep inside me.

...-d

Karen said...

Happy Birthday

gs batty said...

All people younger than 40 think you just went over the hill and should no longer be considered as a real person.
To those of us that are 70 and above, you are just a bucket ass kid and have a lot of learning ahead of you.
the best part of your life has just begun.
Happy Birthday

Jason said...

Happy Birfday!
Peace and bacon grease!
My uncle used to say, "Except for one tiny little hole most women would have bounties on their heads." I disagree, somewhat. I love women. Smooth and soft and boobie having women......yum.

Libby said...

SR...peace & bacon grease?? lol @ jason! happy birthday!

Libby said...

...BTW...I'D RUN my ass past that store, preferably on the other side of the street!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Happy Birthday!!! Woo Hoo!! {Releasing balloons}