Thursday, July 23, 2009

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE or Secrets about women all men should know

If you find you self in the doghouse or divorce court, just don't blame me if you didn't see the roadsigns. So your a deer in the headlights, make sure you know the code before you react.
  1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. You are not going to win the argument and that's a fact.

  2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Never remind her what time it is.

  3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

  4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It! Just don't, please!

  5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

  6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will be punished for your mistake.

  7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome” that will bring on a “whatever”). Boy, have I fallen for that one a few times and It wasn't pretty.

  8. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying FUCK YOU! Unless of course she says Fuck You which of course means the same as whatever. The silent whatever is the deadliest.

  9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

So now you know the code, take this message to all men. Fathers, teach your sons. Don't let them go another day without heading these words.

6 comments:

The Dish said...

As a female I have to admit this is true. All men should take heed.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

The Evil Twin needs to read this.

Anonymous said...

The worst phrase a woman can say to me is, "We need to talk." Jesus Christ in a chicken basket, that's never good.

-Jason

Dave To You said...

Jason...My wife told me she said that exact phrase to her boyfriend when her and I were getting together...very true sir.

Rod...hey man...we're older and wiser for our years (well, older anyway), so don't take the chick thing to seriously. She may be an emotional black hole, waiting to suck you in. No sweat, no tears. Not just a guy thing here. The gals run into the same thing too. Smile and enjoy the moment, as you seem to do...later...-dave

Anonymous said...

I need to a blog too. But I have no idea where to start. I guess I'll do some research and figure it out.

-Jason

Anonymous said...

SR, where is the follow-up to yesterday's post? I need details, man. Details!

-White Trash Barbie

P.S. And yes, Jason, you need to start a blog. Chop Chop!