Sometimes people have feelings. I'm referrin' here to people.

In my own words, well, it's been real busy

2011-04-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a better part of a year that I last posted something and I have been aiming to get back at it but my aim has been off lately. They say as you increase in job responsibilities, your time management needs to be equally adjusted. What can I say? Ack!!! Well, putting that aside, I thought I would at least throw something out there to get the ball rolling again.

I've had mixed feelings about where my life was headed and still haven't been able to put my finger on where I want to be in the upcoming months, years, etc. My mind keeps telling me to keep a job search campaign going but just more focused. My heart says this is a good place to be right now so just ride it out. I can never get those two to agree on anything.

Since graduating from college last year, my job is starting to hand me more intensely focused projects. Not the stuff that has everyone talking about at the water cooler, but still, when the projects are completed, nobody complains that I didn't make their jobs a bit more easier. I like it like that. People who seek to be in the high profile are looking for agendas. My agenda is simple. Make money, go home and relax. Not to difficult a task there.

Let me tell you, nothing gets any easier at 53. No sir buddy. I still worry. My health, finances, retirement. This past year hasn't been easy on any of them. The general consensus is all three is slowly coming to a head. Well, in at least another 15 or so years. Wow, I'll be hittin 70 by the time I retire. Maybe that's what scares me more about getting old. What I deal with today is peanuts.

I have a real good story brewing about a certain application vendor that's turning out to be a really interesting experience. Yet, trying my patience in the midst of it all. I'll tell you about it later.

Oh, my knee? It has good days and a bad one here and there. Mainly when I over do it walking Ginger. And yes, she is doing great. She has a doctors' appointment Monday and she is anxious to get it over and done. She's not to fond of the fecal exam. I was at the park the other day and there were a few younger kids, that's anyone younger than 30 to me, who had a pit bulls. A couple where overly diligent in finding out if Ginger would pass the sniff test. Needless to say, she wasn't having any of it and they each received a vicious growl to hammer in the pointed part of her argument. They each backed away and let her go about her business. She has no qualms in letting other dogs know when she has had enough.

Well friends, it's getting late and my eyelids are drooping so I am gonna watch some TV and drift off to sleep. Maybe some public television before Congress shuts it down for good. Cheers!!!

A typical morning...

2010-07-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

His left foot hit the cold hardwood floor. He hadn't quite woke up but he knew it was inevitable. He looked over at the clock, its red neon glow searing his vision with its constant blinking. He could just barely make out a tell tale glimmer of light coming from behind the dark curtains. His other foot hit the floor. He grumbled slightly as if to pick himself up and started to rock forward to place enough momentum to get himself on his feet but only ended back on the bed. This was not going to be an easy way to start the day he thought in his mind.

As he peered behind, he heard her shuffle about and then she was silent again. He asked, "Did I wake you?" No response came from the bed. He stated quietly, "I am going for a short jog before I get ready for work, do you want to come with me?" Still no response. He rocked himself forward again and shuffled slowly into the closet and pulled out his jogging suit. A quick change out of his pajama bottoms and he leaned over to slip on and lace up his running shoes. He peered around the door and quietly spoke, "This is your last chance!" No movement came from the bed at all.

He walked towards the door and picked up his keys. He looked towards the bedroom but still no reply. He thought to himself, this is not her usual reaction but he dismissed the thought and opened the door. A quick peer back, then he shock his head and took off down the driveway.

The first light of the new day started to lift the dark cover off the trees. He would have rather stayed in bed but he knew that this was the best thing for him. Many mornings, she would be there right by his side without a moments notice but this wasn't the norm and he knew that something could be wrong. Why had she abandoned me this morning was the thought that raced around his head?

As he ran by the park, he stopped for a moment to check his heart rate. Hmmm, 120bpm, not bad for a good solid run. He continued his morning quest. The birds were chirping exceptionally loud, the morning was temperately cool for this time of year and he had not really noticed that there was a slight mist rising off the water as he ran past the pond.

As he came back to his driveway, he looked at the window to see if there was any activity. Nothing, he was a bit concerned but it wasn't as though he had been gone all day. As he opened the door, the smell of the morning coffee wafted through the air. He starred at the bedroom door now a bit longer but still nothing. Maybe she was already up and ready for the day he thought. He kicks off his running shoes into the closet and shed his jogging suit tossing it into the laundry hamper. As he peered towards the bed, she rolled over, stretched her legs out and then curled back into a ball. He thought to himself, well she sure has gotten lazy.

He walked into the shower and started his daily ritual, shave; shower, brush teeth, comb hair, etc, the usual morning routine. He slipped on his clothes with not much of a stir and sat on the edge of the bed to adjust his tie. She rolled back over and for a moment, he could see her eyes open and look at him. Somewhat of a smile came on her face and then she rolled back over. He said to her, "Not gonna get much done laying in the bed all day, you think you may want to get up and get some breakfast before I leave?" She only twitched her leg and let out a annoying yawn. "Well, have it your way but I got to get off to work."

He went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and pulls out a container of cream and placed it on the counter. The coffee was ready and he reached into the cabinet and pulls one of the travel mugs from the shelf. He rinsed it out and then poured the hot coffee into the mug and cream and sugar and then stirred the mixture. After a minute or two of digging through the cabinet drawer, he placed the lid on the mug and then started heading for the door. He looked for his keys but they were not where he kept them. Aha! He remembered he had gone jogging earlier. That's where they are. He went back into the bedroom and opened the hamper and reached into the pocket of his jogging suit and pulled out the keys.

He looked back on the bed and jiggled his keys. She quickly sprang up as if he had doused her with a bucket of cold water and looked at him with surprising intent. He said to her, "If that was all it took, I could have had you up a long time ago!" She sauntered sheepishly towards him looking into his eyes. Her glared was infectious and he knew at that moment things would be a little different. He said to her, "Ok, no more late nights at work. I'll be home early and maybe we can take a walk through the park."

She literally leaped into his arms and kissed him on the chin. He said, "Ok, ok, now stop before you wrinkle my clothes and then I'll have to change." She sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at him as he walked out the room and down the hall. When he had reached the front door, she leaped from the bed like an Olympic diver and ran to the door. He said to her, "The maid will be here soon so don't make a mess; you know how she complains when you start pulling things out and leaving them everywhere." He reached down and gave her an affirming pat on the head and she calmly sat down. He said to her, "You are such a good dog, that's my girl." He closed and locked the door, got into his car and he was gone. She sat in the window looking.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Chinese Restaurant

2010-01-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had one of those good old chuckles where food shoots out your nose? Me neither. Oh, you have! Well, I hope your not eating now because this is going to cause stuff to come out of your nose.

You know me by now that I don't do allot of funny stuff. Well, maybe not as much as I should but it is always interesting to find something that is so funny, you just can't get it off your mind. I mean how many times that that happens. For me, not often. I think the last time that happened was this September when someone near and dear to me de-friended me. I won't digress.

I love going to restaurants ever now and then. I really have a fondness for Chinese buffets but any buffet or area where different groups of people congregate. Ever since I took sociology, I have been an astute people watcher. There is so much information you can get about a person watching them dine. How neat they are. Manners. Posture. Tips they leave. A whole lot of information is just waiting for the trained mind to harvest. Alas, this story is not about what people do socially but more about what you hear.

So, I was sitting there minding my own business and enjoying a bit of buffet sushi (Karen will cringe.) when something I overheard just had me tickled pink. Not that this would be a color that I would really chose to describe my feelings but the cliche' works every now and then. I mean sushi was actually coming out my nose and the joke just kept on coming. I even noticed other patrons getting a good chuckle.
It was not as much what was going on. It was what we were hearing. I know that American culture is growing wide spread amongst the Asian communities and specifically pop culture but this was a bridge too far. It was just something I could not fanthom would have even reached Asian culture. What were they thinking? It's bad enough that you can't understand the lyrics when it is in english. Now picture it being done in Chinese. Then to top that off, they even had the nerve to throw in a bit of Auto-Tune. Damn you T-Pain!

So, the next time you visit your favorite Chinese restaurant, listen carefully. If they are playing the Chinese music in it's all inspiring flair, then you are at the right place. But if the music sounds like Mary J, Pink or Nelly on crack in a chipmunk sounding foreign language. Run. Run fast and don't look back or you have sushi shooting out of your nose too!

BTW, my fortune cookie said "Your luck has been completely changed today." Could it really get any worse? Really!

A little taste of what I do for fun

2010-01-18T21:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, I promised you some time back that I would let see a snippet of the TV show I am working on. So, here is a little taste. I wanted to offer a bit more but Blogger only allows 100MB video download and most of the better snips are 200MB or better. If you are in the Raleigh area, the show airs Sundays at 4:30 PM and Tuesdays at 5:00 PM. This was actually a blooper so it will not air. The scene was re-shot after cleaning up the audio problem. So, I will shut up now and let you enjoy the video. If you feel inclined, tell me what you think or not!

Helping Haiti

2010-01-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

I want to post this for all my followers and urge they do the same to get the word out so that aid and relief get to the right people and organizations.

Watching the destruction in Haiti is heartbreaking. Many want to do something to help the victims, but don't know what to do. The following is a quick guide to pass along to those individuals and organizations who want to help. (Note: information is taken from guidance provided by FEMA, U.S Dept. of Homeland Security and the White House.)

Locating Family Members
Americans seeking information about family members in Haiti should contact the State Department: 1-888-407-4747.

Donate Cash
Cash is the most helpful donation. It allows professional, credible relief organizations to buy exactly what is needed most to help disaster victims. Cash donations minimize delays in collecting, packing, shipping and distributing goods and there is no added transportation cost.
Three ways to donate cash:
1) Contribute to the voluntary organization of your choice.
2) Contribute to one of the major non-profit organizations that are accepting cash donations to respond to this emergency, see http://www.interaction.org/crisis-list/earthquake-haiti.
3) Donate $10 to the Red Cross by simply texting "HAITI" to "90999." The donation will automatically be charged to your cell phone bill.

Donate Goods
Donated goods are discouraged at this point due to limited resources for transporting, distributing and receiving such supplies.

Volunteer
Many non-profit organizations and faith-based groups respond to disasters and offer a wide range of services. However, volunteers without prior disaster relief experience are generally not selected for relief assignments. To learn more about the training involved and volunteering in future disasters with one of these organizations, visit
www.nvoad.org www.serve.gov www.citizencorps.gov www.helpindisaster.org www.networkforgood.org

For more information, contact the Center for International Disaster Informationwww.cidi.org 703-276-1914

MY YEAR IN REVIEW

2010-01-13T08:08:00.000-08:00

I don't try to contemplate on the past but instead, use it as instrument to guide my future. What I have learned from my mistakes, I carry those lessons forward and try not to make them again. This past year was a banner for making mistakes. We make choices good in bad in so many ways. What we say, what we write, the way we respond to people, when we respond, it all effects how are choices are perceived. Some things I wish I could go back and change while others, well, I wish they didn't change fast enough.

I was thinking deeply about whether I was even going to post this but I felt that I need to at least get some things off my chest so I could move forward. Sort of a lessons learned exercise. Something I learned in my years as a project manager. See, I view each choice, relationship, event and so on as a project. There is always an beginning and an ending. A start and a finish. I started a lot of new relationships, a few ended. I can't chalk it up to fate but it is what it is. Some projects are still going strong and others failed. One in particular really bothered me but I'm not going to digress. It's done and over and maybe for the best.

On a better note, my classes are almost over but like some projects. There seems to be a funding issue but I am going to do the best I can finish this up. Maybe I can get a scholarship or grant to help stipend these last two quarters. I am almost 90% sure I will continue for my masters but I am not going to focus on that now. Just want to get over this hurdle. I just wanted to thank all my friends and supporters, you have made the difference in me getting through this.

I didn't want to make this long so I will close. I wanted to at least scratch the surface and reflect a bit on my past year. Most of you already know all the stories so I won't bore you with rehash. This year started out mixed. Some good, some well, we'll see. I took on some new roles at work. My boss retired at the end of the year and now I have all his admin duties. I don't know if this means I am going to be offered his post but who knows. I don't really care for management but I wouldn't turn it down either if it meant a bit more pay.

With that said, here are a few things I have noticed or learned over the past year:

Don't over explain, be brief and to the point.
When the situation calls for a joke or sarcasm, know the difference.
Avoid discussions regarding women and shopping. Specially footwear.
Carnivores should avoid vegetarian diets at all cost.
Take time to compliment.

Well, that's all I have for now but if you think of anything else, please feel free to tell me about it.

So, in closing I wanted to leave you with this thought. As a big fan of brit actor Rowan Atkinson, I loved his role in the "Blackadder" so I leave you with this final exchange. Atkinson is playing the role of Edmund.

Baldrick: No, the thing is: The way I see it, these days there's a war on, right? and, ages ago, there wasn't a war on, right? So, there must have been a moment when there not being a war on went away, right? and there being a war on came along. So, what I want to know is: How did we get from the one case of affairs to the other case of affairs?

Edmund: Do you mean "How did the war start?"

Baldrick: Yeah.

George: The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire- building.

Edmund: George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved of blame on the imperialistic front.

George: Oh, no, sir, absolutely not. (aside, to Baldick) Mad as a bicycle! Baldrick: I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke shot an ostrich 'cause he was hungry.

Edmund: I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.

Baldrick: Nah, there was definitely an ostrich involved, sir.

Edmund: Well, possibly. But the real reason for the whole thing was that it was too much effort *not* to have a war.

George: By God this is interesting; I always loved history -- The Battle of Hastings, Henry VIII and his six knives, all that.

Edmund: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war.

Baldrick: But this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir?

Edmund: Yes, that's right. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.

George: What was that, sir?

Edmund: It was bollocks.

CHECK OUT MY SEXY NEW BOD!!!

2009-12-09T13:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, it was bait. I know, I haven't written anything in over a month. These two classes are dogging my writing skills but The heavy duty stuff is done. Just got the finals to do and I have all classes completed for my concentration. All classes after this are electives so I need to find three basket weaving 101 classes so I can get my degree. Oh baby!!!

Anyhoodle! The computer forensics class now gives me the skills and knowledge to break into anyones computer without them knowing it. Scary? Oh, don't be. I don't flaunt my skills, besides, I'm a project manager not technical support. But don't test me, I can. Oh, and the security policy class tells me why I shouldn't so feel safe that your computer will never be exploited by me. Or has it? Hmmm!

Lately, I've been having to deal with a question of what to do next? My school financial aid informs me that because I only have two more quarters to go, they have to prorate my financial aid which means I have to pay the difference. That comes to about $450 out of pocket per quarter plus I have to pay for my books. One suggestion was that I take three classes at the local community college and then take my senior seminar. Doh! I still have to pay for that class dummies and with no financial aid, why bother. The whole situation sucks big time but I know it will work itself out. I just hate the fact that I have $1500 standing between me and graduation.

The puppet shows are completed and I have injested them to the local public TV station's server. They broadcast the first sunday in January 2010. I have not gotten the final nod on the time slot but I will post snipets in my next blog post so stop by and catch the taste. I also have a snipet posted on my FB page so if you are my friend, you can stop in and check it out. It's a rough cut and hasn't been edited so don't look for perfection. I will also be posting the commercial spot for the show today so look for that later.

So this is the point where I leave you with a thought. We do not retreat from reality, we rediscover it. What reality have you rediscovered?

In The Beginning...

2009-11-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

It is no small escape of the imagination that I didn't have a lot of Christian influence in my early years in life. I grew up in a small town in New Jersey called Burlington and attended the Tabernacle Baptist Church as far back as I could remember. Unlike churches today, Tabernacle was born in the community and served it and it's members for many years. Much like me, the church has grown and though I have grown away from organized religion, Tabernacle still remains a pillar in the community in Burlington. But, this is not about the church. Well maybe not intently.

I remember as a small child, sleeping in my grandmother's arms as the service drew through it's highs and lows. The sound of the pastor's booming voice would both soothe and awaken me. Not knowing what the words being spoken at the time meant, yet I would feel a sense of peace and strength in them. I would bask in the glow and warmth of environment that the church provided. As a child, I would often stare upon the smoothly plastered walls painted a faded pink or peer through the stained glass windows emblazoned with the names of the founding church members and short bible verses. The original sanctuary has long been demolished and was replaced several year ago by a brand new multipurpose center. Another sign of the church's growth and expansion over the years.

Like the church, the years have expanded it and it has grow. Now taking up most Second Street, it is no longer the a small community church. I have expanded a bit myself but that was a result of my going beyond the community I grew up in. So, why do I reference this humble beginning in my life? Like this once place I called my Christian home, I have grown beyond it's borders and beyond the basic concepts I once learned about from the bible. Let just say like Luke Skywalker discovering the Force, I too have discovered a power even deeper within my being.

Say it be some sort of logic or intuition, I see people now for what they are. At this point in my life, if I call you a friend, it really means something. Up until recent, I had lived a very reclusive life. Very few friends if any. I avoided family or even occasional contact with anyone. Not because I was made to, I was unwary of people's intent in my life. I did not want any close associations because I didn't want to be hurt or hurt anyone. Seriously, I was hurting myself more.

I refused this self imposed hermitage of so many years and started reaching out to people. Some embraced my friendship yet some drew away. I am thankful for both. Family members I either never knew about or only saw on that occasional family reunion trip, I now communicate with them as though I have been with them all my life. I wish I could explain what happened or why but I just asked myself; Self, why are you so lonely? You have hundreds of people who want to be your friend yet you disregard them. You have family who want to know what you are doing. Why don't you just get out there and first be a friend to yourself. So I did.

So, how does this all come together? The church thing, my early childhood, friends and family? I realized that like the walls of the church, they would have been lonely without that stained glass. The names etched into them where the names of friends and family who had been instrumental in the foundation of that church. Without them, they were just as lonely and empty as I had been for a good part of my adult life. The rich tapestry of family members and friends of that church allowed it to grow. I felt a bit of warmth not from the physical but from the love that was the church. Even looking at it now, it still remains the pillar but it is much stronger, wiser, friendlier. Like me. So I say to you my new friends, be that pillar, that strength, that warmth, that friend.

Oktoberfest and all that comes with it...

2009-10-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

I found myself getting bored sitting at home wallowing in self absorption and duress. I went to a luncheon Friday with some of my good friends from the US Postal Service and enjoyed some great camaraderie and libations. Several of my good friends are retiring or thinking serious about it but I digress, it is not a reality for me at this time. During the luncheon, it was mentioned that my friend Randy was attending the Oktoberfest in Wake Forest and he invited me to come by. Anyhoodle...

It was around 2:30 when I drove by place and despite the light drizzle, things seem to be in full blossom and I could see several people, mainly families, headed into the festivities. With the Oompa music blaring from the inner sanctum, several teens where waving me to come on in. I slowed for a minute but then remembered that I need to stop and get some money for admission, food and drinks. So I proceeded to the nearest bank machine which eventually ended me up a WalMart. I unfortunately left my camera phone charging in my Jeep so I didn't get any good shots and boy, there were a few good picks to chose from.

It was close to 3:00 when I got back to the festivities and a light rain had just started. First thing I see is a small Bichon Frise running towards me. The cute little dog stopped right at my feet and looked up. When I looked up to see who the owner was, I recognized she was an acquaintance's wife. Even though I didn't know the dog, it acted as if it knew me and I picked the dog up and handed it to the Joe Seay's wife. She looked at me and said, "I know you! Weren't you at the luncheon yesterday?" I replied with a strong yes as I handed the dog over to her. "She got away and wouldn't come back. I'm glad she stopped when she saw you." She exclaimed. We both walked inside and I paid my three dollar admission fee and went to the beverage table and paid $10 dollars for a commemartive 18 ounce mug that include the "first" fill.

I scanned the entire area and was surprised to see so many folk enjoying a rich German culture. The music filled the room with a joy vient aire. Polkas are always so energetic and bright. In one corner was the live band pounding away as folk danced to the music. In the center where several rows of tables with people sitting and eating and drinking and making a manner of chatter. Even a few folk in lederhosen. The food and beer where nestled together in the corner opposite to the band on the other side of the room. The food tables was loaded with brats and sauerkraut, perogies, German potato salad, corn dogs (Is that German?) and caramel apples. Not a bad feast offering. The beer cart had Sam Adams, Aviator and Budweiser. I went for the Sam Adams Oktoberfest.

Several beers and plate of brats and potato salad later, I found myself being called up for a contest. Little did I know that this was a loaded contest. Six men were called to the stage, one would leave a victor. The competition was fierce and I was but a light weight in the crowd. Randy surely had this one sewed up. On top of that, he was the beer meister for the event. The votes were based on audience participation. The cheers were seemingly pointing to Randy as the hostess called for audience response. The other gents were eliminated and it was clear that the contest was between Randy and I. Another call went out and the audience agreed, the crown went to...

Oh, why would I give that away, hmm! Hold you in suspense or spill the beans. What a tough decision to make. Oh, I couldn' t do that to my loyal readers. Besides, you probably guessed the outcome, Randy won. Aha! Randy is in the picture on the left. I got you, I have the crown. A write up in the local paper, a bottle of German Spiced wine, two more beer mugs, a T-shirt and four free passes to next years festivities where I get to defend my crown. Aufedersein! Work here is done. I'm needed elsewhere now. I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West, wherever innocent women and children are afraid to walk the streets, wherever a man cannot live in simple dignity, wherever a people cry out for justice.

You missed me, didn't you?

2009-10-21T06:58:00.000-07:00

I know, you haven't heard a peep from me in so long. The past few weeks have been rather busy for me and my brain, well it just ain't been it's usual productive self for quite some time. I managed to end up with a "B" in one of my classes and it shook me a bit. A "B" what the? Seriously, I did not "feel" any of this last quarter. To many emotional elements and out right craziness going on.

Gladly, things have settled down a bit and I have a lot more clarity on the direction of things to come. It's tough when you hit that life changing age (you know, mid life crisis) and the inner child wants to get out and frolic. No, I am not looking at buying a sports car or trying to recapture my youthful days. I rather like where I am at. Yes, I would like some things to change but I have to look at the realistic value of things.

One, I ain't getting any younger. Am I? I mean, I feel now like I should have felt when I was 30 somethin'. Coming out of a reclusive existence was not easy. A whole lot of things have changed and then, have they? Maybe I am expecting to much of myself and I should just sit at home and grow old. Needless to say, I am looking forward to making some more changes in the way I do things over the next few months.

So, this last quarter is the wrap-up of the classes I need for my concentration. After that, I have three more classes of my choosing. Always good to save a few electives for the end. Other than that, I surprised myself by adding a few community TV production classes to the mix. Most are one day, evening type seminars. I need them so I can do community TV for this business I am working with. Yeah, it has a lot to do with some of the work I am doing with Hip Hop Wall Street. I also plan to be adding some kids programming to it with some puppet shows.

I started reading a Nora Roberts novel a couple weeks ago. I had never contemplated reading a romance novel but I do remember reading a couple Jacqueline Susann novels when I was much younger. Like, how many of you have read Valley of the Dolls before age 13. Or, have read any Xaviera Hollander or the Last Tango in Paris? Yeah, that's why. Any hoodle, I almost forgot how much I like the way a story is told in book form. You get to envision the story in your mind and you almost get carried away into the writers world. Not a bad place to be sometimes. I needed to get my head out of the technical stuff. It works fine for the job but doesn't do anything for the reality of life.

I had some other things that were on my mind but they are not that important or they just don't matter any more. I can take things a lot better than when I was a lot younger. So, I'm rambling on about this and that with no coherent point to my reasoning. One day, all this will make sense. What I'm doing now. What I did. What I will be doing. It all has purpose. Part of my sinister plot to get...Heh! I'm not gonna give that away. Not yet!!! Y'all be sweet for now. I'll holla back at you later.

Monday's Leftovers, thanks Christine and Ron...

2009-10-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

Cut and paste the questions onto your blog and let me know if you played.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her pimp told her to.

What was your last thought?

When will my computer be done so I can leave work?

Are you a cat or a dog person?

Both.

Define yourself in 3 words...

Witty, intelligent, practical.

Kill the spider or let it out?

Depends on the spider.

Do you shower every single day?

Yes, sometime two or three times.

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?

Depends on how I feel and if I have change in my pocket.

Where do you want to travel next?

Europe

What is your favorite food?

For now, salads.

Do you read harry potter books?

No, I just wait for the movie.

What is your favorite place?

Australia

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

Invisibility

Have you had a beer in the last week?

Yes.

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?

Just water.

What is your favorite song of all time?

Nick Hagelin “Light Of The Sinkin' Sun”

When and where was the best picture of you taken?

In my video studio a couple weeks ago.

From Ron's List!

1. Where is your cell phone? Off and charging.
2. Your hair? Dark brown, curly and brushed back.
3. Your mother? Living in another state, is confusion a state?
4. Your father? Eternally enjoying and round of Johnnie Walker Red and playing pinochle with his friends.
5. Your favorite food? Mostly Cajun but I like Thai and Vietnamese.
6. Your dream last night? If I told you, it would take up most of the page and be considered x rated.
7. Your favorite drink? Water.
8. Your dream/goal? To be rich and have a smart, funny, intelligent wife to share it with.
9. What room are you in? My office at work.
10. Your hobby? Boating, music.
11. Your fear? None.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? See # 8.
13. Where were you last night? Home.
14. Something that you aren’t? Status quo.
15. Muffins? Blueberry
16. Wish list item? See # 8.
17. Where did you grow up? All over the damn place
18. Last thing you did? Replied to a blog
19. What are you wearing? Dress slacks and a long sleeve shirt.
20. Your TV? Phillips 53 inch big screen.
21. Your pets? 1 dog named Ginger
22. Friends? A couple but entertaining more possibilities.
23. Your life? Not bad but I wish I could have done things a lot better and with less drama.
24. Your mood? Good for now.
25. Missing someone? Always
26. Vehicle? Gas drinking SUV
27. Something you’re not wearing? A wedding band.
28. Your favorite store? BJ’s
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When was the last time you laughed? When I read the West Virginia Surf Report
31. Last time you cried? At the end of Marley and Me
32. Your best friend? None yet
33. One place that I go to over and over? Zydeco’s
34. One person who emails me regularly? Spammers
35. Favorite place to eat? See # 33

Monday's 5

2009-09-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

Karen has given me 5 words and she wants me to share my thoughts on them. After you’ve read my comments, if you feel inclined to play along, say so in the comments and I will send you five words of my choosing.

Utopia – Sir Thomas More was definitely smoking something when he wrote the book on this topic. My thoughts on this range, I mean, is it truly possible? No, at least not on earth and I don’t mean us visiting some far off planet in hopes of developing a whole new society. Don’t buy into the Hollywood version of crap they want to sell us. So, why you ask? One, we are not mentally evolved enough to accept a perfect society. Oh don’t lie to yourself, you wouldn’t make it. You are too cynical, to close minded, to over educated, to imbalanced in thinking through the processes that really matter. We tend think that if we become more intelligent, we can conquer all the things that are wrong in this world. Well, the best we can do is put a bandage on it. We are hemorrhaging all of this hate, distrust, contempt, jealousy, and vanity and just out right lying to ourselves in everything we do. It has polluted our minds and our thinking. Utopian society is simplistic in thinking. It is child like. So if you can think like a child, maybe Utopia will have a chance. Oh, BTW, I never read the book.

Magazine – When I first think of the word magazine, my mind images a periodical the details stories related to news topics or human interest. I could be about food, health, clothing or just life in general. They cover all ages and variously anything we do from computers to flying airplanes. Some much information, so much interest, so much life is stored in a magazine but then on the other hand, it also represents the delivery of a cold hard death. It spews from the fire of a barrel the hot lead of our discontent. Our hatred ravishing and taking so many lives on a scale unknown. If Nobel had any ideal that his invention of dynamite could yield destruction and devastation from such a simple word, he would have never got out of bed that day.

Cyclone – Growing up in the Midwest, this word takes on a more physical state as a weaker but just as devastating version of a tornado. At a younger age, I experienced the effects of a cyclone on several occasions while living on the Island of Okinawa. As a musician, the Cyclone is a modified version of the Fender Mustang. As a nerd, I know it as a programming language. It is also the name of a rollercoaster located in Texas and one of my favorite places to go when I was a kid, Coney Island. I even think the vacuum cleaner industry is using the term for its method of picking up dirt.

Egg Roll – My ex use to term the egg roll as a garbage roll. I laughed at her. Maybe that’s one of the reason she’s an ex now. Not my fault. I thought it was funny. She was always one for a good joke but it was always at my expense.

Somewhat of a mystery of how it came to be but I am quite sure Ming was sitting around his palace wanting something hot and quick to eat and all he had was cabbage, some rice flour wrappers and duck sauce.

So goes the story. He called for his chefs to make a portable quick meal of these items or they would loose their collective heads. Knowing only Dim Sum, the came up with a steamed version but it was too heavy for the wrapper and it fell apart. They schemed and calculated how much stuffing could be supported by wrapper and came up with a perfect size. They prepared all the rolls they had supplies for and where taking them to the steamer. The cook’s assistant tripped and the whole tray of wrapper flew into the air. The cook looked in disgust knowing he would lose his head for this blunder. Still twirling in the air the rolls headed for a big vat of oil that was being heated to cook the emperor’s other favorite dish, Peking duck.

The cook yelled to the assistant stand in the way of the flying rolls to duck. He turned just in time to see the rolls flying towards him and dropped to the floor, the rolls all landing in the hot oil. The cook screamed in disgust, “Arrggh! What am I going to do? The emperor’s dish is ruined.” At that time, the emperor called for his meal. The cook having nothing prepared to replace this disaster gathered the egg rolls from the hot oil and placed them on another platter. Embraced to show his face, he sent the assistant to present the dish to the emperor thinking the emperor would cut off the assistant’s head first and give him some time to come up with another dish.

The assistant shaking and sweating profusely as he bowed presented the dish to the emperor. The emperor looked at the odd looking rolls and dipped one in his duck sauce. He was delighted, he called for the cook. The cook came running knowing his head was to be cut off. He entered the emperor dining chamber and bowed and prepared his head for the ultimate decision. Ming called for him to rise and he offered the cook one of the tasty treats, so the egg roll was born. You should hear my stories about Cashew and General Tso’s Chicken.

Playful – I have always been told that I have a very playful sense of humor. I have to have something to balance the more serious side of me. The business side that most people see is always masking a more sinister playful person in me. I let him out every now and then but it usually takes a beer or two to coax him out to come and play. Sir Arthor Conan Doyle suggested, “You know how easily and suddenly these things happen, beginning in playful teasing and ending in something a little warmer than friendship. You squeeze the slender arm which is passed through yours, you venture to take the little gloved hand, you say good night at absurd length in the shadow of the door. It is innocent and very interesting; love trying his wings in a first little flutter.”

I love the playful teasing music of Scheherazade as well as how the story blends a playful story line on so many levels. No writer today writes in such a playful manner on such a serious subject that cover all manner of human devices. Amazing that in the story that the King had killed over three thousand women before Scheherazade presented her story. So compelled by her wit and playfulness, he made her queen at the end of one thousand nights hence the book One Thousand Arabian Nights which was the collection of stories the she told the king.

Shiny Rod’s Game Day Chili

2009-09-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

Shiny Rod’s Game Day Chili

This is a quick and easy to fix chili recipe that I use. Nothing to difficult because it uses ingredients that can be purchased at any grocery store. Some ingredients may be altered or omitted to taste.

Ingredients:

2 lbs	Carne Picada (Thinly cut up flank or sirloin steak can be substituted)
2 lbs	Ground Beef ( I use a blend of beef, veal and pork)
½	Red Onion
½	Vidalia Onion
1	Whole Jalapeño
1	Box, Shot Gun Willy’s Chili seasoning
1	Box, Wick Fowlers Chili seasoning
1	Can, Rotel Diced Tomatoes
1	Can, Stewed Tomatoes (Original or Mexican style)
1	Can, Diced Tomatoes
1	Can, Bush’s Dark Kidney Beans (Can be omitted it you want authentic chili)
1	Can, Bush’s Light Kidney Beans (Can be omitted it you want authentic chili)
1	Can, Bush’s Chili Beans (Can be omitted it you want authentic chili)
1	Package, Sliced Crimini or Brown Mushrooms (Can be omitted it you want authentic chili)
1	24oz Bottle of Guinness Stout (Don’t skimp here, taste is the key but you can use your favorite beer if you like) Relax, you only need half the bottle, enjoy the rest while cooking.
1	Packet, Taco Seasoning (This is to season the Carne Picada)
¼ Cup	Turbinado or brown sugar
¼ Cup	Masa Flour (usually comes with the Chili Seasoning mix)

Directions:

1. Start by browning the Carne Picada and then the ground beef. I add taco seasoning to the Carne Picada.

2. Dice ½ of the Red and ½ of the Vadalia Onion and slice and de-seed the Whole Jalapeño.

3. Drain the ground beef and place the Carne Picada in a bowl. We’ll get back to those later.

4. Add Olive oil to a 5qt pot and start to sweat the onions and add the Mushrooms and Jalapeño (Mushrooms and Jalapeño can be omitted).

5. Add two tablespoons of butter to the mixture.

6. Add back the both meats and stir the mixture together.

7. Add all your dry ingredients to the mixture making sure everything gets coated. This will help the seasonings to blend better. (You can also omit the cayenne pepper if you want a milder chili).

8. Add the Rotel, diced and stewed tomatoes and stir mixture.

9. Add tomato sauce and stir mixture.

10. Add the Guinness and the sugar.

11. If want an all meat chili, stop here and let simmer for 30 minutes to allow seasoning to meld. Add Masa flour and serve with crackers, corn bread or chips.

12. For a hearty chili, add the beans and stir mixture again. Let simmer for 30 minutes to allow seasoning to meld. Add Masa flour and serve with crackers, corn bread or chips.

Tip: For more heat, use Habaneras or Scotch Bonnets.

Ah! The dreads of life.

2009-09-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

I am searching for a real good reason why tomorrow should even exist. Beside the premiere of a new scifi series, I am just clueless. You see, this would be any ordinary day. It happens to be a special day for me. I could explain it but what would it matter. We live an existence marked by time and for me it is mostly uneventful.

So I take from this that the things I can change, I do. Those that I can't, well, I'll leave that up to somebody else. Why argue over semantics? I mean, I can't for the life of me understand why people choose such trivial facts to argue about. Take for instance, I was in the store the other day and a husband was shopping with his with wife. They kept arguing about what he wanted and what she didn't like. He would put something in the basket and she would take it out and replace it with something else or a cheaper brand. She ended the argument by removing a package of steaks and telling him "Besides the steaks, guess what else you won't be getting?" I chuckled quitely. Not for him, I think she had had enough of his nonsense and she put her foot down and then some. It made me think, is that all I have to look forward to? Arguing about what to put in the grocery basket. I think not. I'll save my arguments for more inclusive items.

So being tomorrow or today or yesterday or last week will be/is/was my birthday depending on your perspective of time and when you decide to read my post. Well just keep it in mind that I ain't getting any younger. Before long, somone will be using my wit in a shit my dad says post. Have a nice day folks and enjoy getting old, I know I am.

****
A new, special kind of store just opened up in a Manhatten shopping center. This store sells husbands, yes that’s right – women can browse men from floors of choices.

Actually, there are 6 floors of men, and with an increase in the floor level bringing an positive attributes… a nifty setup – with a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. Interesting, right?

So a young woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, “Well, that’s better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, “That’s great, but I wonder what’s further up?” And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. “Hmmm, better” she says. “But I wonder what’s upstairs?”

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow!” exclaims the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!” And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?” So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 7,548,652 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor only exists as proof that women are impossible to please.

What'd You Think?

Alright, I got the message

2009-09-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

So once again, here I am facing my most enduring public. Aw crap, you thought I was going to writing about my craziness? No, not this time. I'm back to my normal sane self again, maybe. I will see when my meds run out. Oh please, I'm not on meds. Well not for that at least. The ones I am on, I'm trying to get those reduced or get off them all together by dieting and exercise.

I will discuss one thing though. Back in August, my mom passed out and my brother called the emergency service and had her transported to the hospital for which they kept her a few days for evaluation. Now I won't say that this is a big problem with me but it is. I'll get to that later. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. As a matter of fact, this is at least the third time in the past year or two that I have been made aware of it.

The first incident happened, my mom was sitting in church enjoying the service. They thought she had fainted but they were having problems reviving her with smelling salts. They called the paramedics and she was transported to the hospital for which they kept her for an extended period and then let her go home.

The next incident happened during a family gathering. She once again fainted and attempts to wake her where futile. They called the EMT's and they promptly took her to the hospital. When she was released from the hospital, I called her to get an update to find out that she was having problems with her Doctor not refilling her medications. I told her she needed to find another Doctor because the outcome of the first incident was result of being over-stressed and over-medicated. This Doctor didn't want to acknowledge the hospital's recommendations. I'll address the stress part later.

She further told me that she was not getting any help from family members who were staying in her home. My younger sister and her twin sibling were of no help and pushed the problem on my brothers daughter who is barely able to handle her own issues. I had a fit. I even threatened to move back home. That ain't gonna happen. Seems as though, all my siblings are dumping their children and grand children on my mother when they feel damn inclined to do so. I'm talking infants to teens. Don't get me wrong but I think my mother raised her children. She does not need to raise anymore. I can see them stopping by occasionally for a visit but they come and stay for days and that means my mother has to feed them, make sure they have clean clothes, get them up for school, you know the drill. WTF? Am I to understand that when you get tired of raising your children, you can dump them on mom? They had no answers and refused to call me about any other problems.

The last incident happened, I didn't get a call. I found out about it after the fact when my brother posted it in Facebook. WTFF? I do have a phone and it is on 24/7. Granted, I'm online most of the time. But this is not the way you contact someone about your mother being taken to the hospital. Of course, this made me furious and when I get that mad, well watch out. But I held it in, add this to me just coming out of surgery for a torn meniscus and my emotional meter just red lined. Once again, I held it in. Before the end of August, the shit hit the fan and I had had enough of their issues.

I would like to say that my mom's issues are resolved but that's only temporary. She finally got to another Doctor and they have adjusted her medicines to a more agreeable level for her health's concern. My biggest concern is the family is not listening to her. She has said that she frequently has these spells but she goes and lays down and she feels better after she has had a short rest. I asked her if she told the doctor about this. She said she didn't think it was a problem since she felt better after resting. I told her I beg to differ. This is not normal behavior and she need to let the doctor know about. So, I am waiting to hear back on what the doctor had to say about this symptom.

Rescue on the high seas

2009-09-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

Before I start, here are some military acronyms I am using to save space:

OPS = Operations

SAR = Sea Air Rescue

DO = Duty Officer

LPO = Leading Petty Officer

SEAL = Sea Air Land

LCM = Landing Craft Mechanized

We were steaming south headed for Diego Garcia. It must have been somewhere between 5 and 6 in the morning when the chief came in the OPS berthing area and woke several of the SAR team up and told us to muster by the armory after we signed out our weapons. The morning had just broke but there was still a wash of fog lying heavy on the water.

The ship had dropped to slow and steady as the chief and the duty officer came into view. The LPO shouted “Attention on deck!” and the DO replied, “As you were.” The DO stated. “We have a small boat about 3 miles south of us and they are giving a distress signal according to the lookout. We are sending a team to the boat to assess the problem and render any assistance needed. Two of the Seal team and two marines have already been assigned but we need two from the SAR team to also assist.” The chief chose me and another PO to help. The other team members suited up and went on the flight deck to ready the SAR helicopter.

We scrambled down to the well deck to meet up with the SEAL and Marine teams. The SEAL team was readying the zodiac. I looked at my partner and we both gave each other the “oh shit” look. The SEAL guys said to us that one was going to drive the boat and the other would be on the bow manning the M60. Your weapons stay holstered unless we say otherwise. We nodded in agreement. We finished packing food, water and medical supplies on board and get the zodiac ready to launch.

The ship came to a halt and we waited for the word to launch. Crew members were starting to collect around the top of the well deck wondering what was going on. We were a bit in the dark too. Not knowing what we where going up against. For all we knew, it could have been pirates out there and their boat had broken down and we were their free ride home.

The zodiac boat crept through the fog, riding the swells which were cresting from 6 to 10 feet. It was not a pleasant ride. Fortunately, I don’t get sea sick but my partner was starting to get a little green around the gills. I wish I could say the approaching the boat was a pleasure. The SEAL team leader told us to ready our weapons once we saw the outline of the boat bobbing up and down at the crest of each wave we topped.

We made a finally approach by circling the boat to assess if there was danger. The team leader slowed the engine down and the SEAL guy on the bow readied the line to toss to the boat occupants. It was not pleasant; the stench of urine and feces permeated the air and made it even more difficult to perform our job with a smile. An older man waved at us to approach and we came closer to the boat. The line was tossed to him and he tied it off as we started tossing food and water to the people on the boat. The team leader started counting heads.

After counting more that 70 people stuffed on the boat, he called to the ship. “We got more than 70 people on this boat and some are in desperate need of medical attention. Some women started trying to pass the small children to us. We had to wave them off for fear of swamping our small zodiac. The fog was starting to lift but the ship was still not in sight. The team leader fired of a flare and then another followed by a third. The ship came across the radio. “We have your position now; we are sending an LCM to assist.” We continued opening boxes of food and water and looked for any one who needed immediate medical attention. There were a couple of pregnant women on board so we wanted to make sure that they got off first with the children.

The LCM came in sight and the team leader waved to them. They pulled aside the small boat and lowered the front end of the LCM down so that the people could get aboard quickly. We started getting the people off the small boat and were making head good headway in the task. Now came the task of getting some of the older people off would take some doing. We had to lift several of them on board the LCM. The small boat was taking on water and we knew it would be long before it would have sunk. With the LCM loaded, they lifted the front gate and started backing away from the small boat now empty and bobbing wildly in the ocean. The team leader made a second call asking for the disposition of the small boat. They told him “Sink it.” You could see a shit eating grin come on his face. These SEAL guys get off on blowing shit up.

He reached in a big bag stashed under the seat and pulls out three smaller bags packed with C4. I was starting to get into it myself. We placed the packages front, center and aft and connect a receiver and battery to the packages. The team leader called to the ship and told them the packages were ready. The ship returned the call stating to wait until the LCM was back on board and we will give you the go signal. We sat bobbing out in the middle of the ocean with the stench of the small boat still racking our sense of smell. It would not be soon enough to sink this thing.

We finally get the go ahead and we all secure everything and take our positions on the zodiac. The team leader starts the boat back up and we head back to the ship. Once we are about a mile away from the small boat, the team leader pulls out a transmitter. He calls to the ship and states, “We are in safe distance, are we clear to ignite?” The word comes back, “Blow, Blow, Blow!” The team leader releases the safety and flicks the switch. Nothing happens. We look at each other with an “Ah shit” look. The Team Leader smiles again and says oops. He inserts a key into the box and turns it. The boat blows up in a giant splash of water and when it all settles down, nothing but a few pieces remain floating on the water, another job well done. That’s all for now folks…

A Big Heaping Pile of Apology eh Apathy eh Epithany

2009-09-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

If I were to term the past couple months of my life in a song, it would probably be something like "What a fool believes" or "Something going on crazy inside my head". I mean what the hell was I thinking? You don't have to answer that. At least not yet.

I owe a very big public apology to someone and here it is. I am so very sorry that I didn't hear you when you first mentioned how you felt about some of my posts. I had to work through some personal issues and now that I got it out of my system, I am in a much clearer mindset and able to move forward. So I ask your forgiveness. Regardless, I was being very insensitive and immature and that is not what someone would expect of a mature professional man of 51 years. It also is not an image I want my children to have of me and I am glad you brought it to my attention. I have never felt something hit me in the gut that hard and believe me, I have taken a few to the gut before. I value your friendship more than I value what silliness I can post in a blog and I will not violate that trust again. Personally, I never want to hear someone tell me they were in tears over something I posted unless it is something worthy of those tears.

With that having been said, I have removed several posts that I felt were below my standards of writing. Yes, they were about me but they were stories I should have never availed to public viewing. Even though I took care to write them in a manner not to be blatantly descriptive or in some sense pornographic, the fact remained that they were. As much as two of the stories were very true, the other two were slight exaggerations of the facts. Other post were just mere banter and added no value to what I like to write about. I am a good writer and I can make most any story believable. I'll stick to the truthful facts from here on out and no more personal relationship stuff. I'll leave the fantasy stuff to Penthouse. I think you get the point.

So to my many friends and fellow bloggers, I bid adue for now. Yeah, this was short and sweet but I need to get this out. Maybe I'll have something new this weekend to write about. My video projects are coming along pretty good and we are working on several 30 min segments for broadcast on public TV. Michael Stewart Issac (Hip Hop Wall St) is hyped about the project and has some good material. I'll be sharing some of that with you including a bit of some inside footage of one of our taping sessions in the near future. I also got conformation that I will also be producing an interview with Nick Hagelin and his lovely wife. So look forward to some more good stuff coming out in the next few days.

Great Grand Father's Story - Circa late1800's Texas

2009-09-04T23:54:00.001-07:00

I posted this story several days ago on the West Virginia Surf Report when the questions was asked: "Tell us about your saddest, or most interesting family tragedies, from a long time ago. Not recent stuff, that’s too personal, but stories you’ve heard about people you never actually met." I have made some edits and grammatical corrections to this story. I chose to write my about my great grand father on my fathers mothers side. Other tragic stories about my family are just to close to me to tell.

The story was set in a small town nestled about 70 miles northwest of Houston, Texas. This story is short but very poignant and has some racial overtones so I need to warn you before you read any further. This story may have been played out millions of times all over the country throughout history but was kept inside the minds of the victims and survivors.

Needless to say, my GGF was born a free man around the mid 1800’s. This story came from my aunt and the only way that I know about it was that she was telling the story to my father and mother back in the 70’s when we came to visit them in Texas. I hid out in the other room listening to what she had to say.

My GGF owned land outside of Brenham, TX and had a small farm with livestock and enough acreage to grow a few things to feed his family. Enough said on that. He was lonely and decides to search for a wife. His search took him to New Orleans where he met a most unusual woman. She was Creole and her name was Lillian Spencer. They soon fell in love and married and he packed all her belongings and moved her back to Brenham and soon after started a family.

They eventually produced several children, one being my grandmother who was given my GGM’s name. In 1800’s Texas, it did not take long for the word to get out regarding my next bit of details. If you know anything about Creole people, well dammit, go read about, I don’t have time to explain.

The problem was that a great mistake was made one day; a nearby white farmer came by my GGF’s land a saw my GGM out hanging clothes on the line. What he thought was a white woman was actually my Creole GGM. He stood back and watched my GGF come up and get a glass of water and then give her a kiss. Enraged at this sight, he got back on his horse and rode off. Later that evening, a group of men came a calling and they were not there for my GGM’s biscuits. They wanted to know why a (you know what they said) was kissing on a white woman.

Most of them being drunk and already looking for some retribution, they were able to subdue my GGF, take away his shotgun and tie him up. My GGM shouted to them that she was not a white woman, and that she was Creole, being both ignorant and drunk they did not want to listen to her. My GGF was carried off into the night and hung. Several of his close friends went looking for him the next morning and they found his body beaten and mutilated. My GGM never recovered from the loss of her true love and died several years later from grief leaving my GM to raise the siblings and run the farm. They buried his body on the farm near a pecan tree he had planted. The tree now shades both of their graves, the land was eventually sold back to the city long before my birth.

So that is my story. It is one that I have kept secret for a long time since I was a teenager. Peace ya’ll. I’m outta here…

A Day In My Life - The Cafeteria Days

2009-09-01T12:56:00.000-07:00

I attended so many schools; it would take a novel to just to get through kindergarten to middle school. The price you pay for being a military brat. One story sticks in head from my middle school days.

Being a very awkward teenager and just returning to my hometown of Burlington NJ from a school in Hampton VA, I found reconnecting with childhood acquaintances was becoming quite difficult. To avoid being ostracized, I hung out with the smokers, occasionally taking a puff just to show I was cool. We always hid out between a building and the statue of Wilbur Watts, also the name of the school, and did our dastardly deed. Since this was the bad ass crowd, not to many people fucked with us and we remained relatively safe from the threats and hazing by the jocks. They were afraid we might cough on them and give them some kind of disease.

I remember this day so vividly. After the bell rang for classes to start, we all grabbed our books and head into school for first period. I was finishing up the last puff so I smashed the cig on the ground and took off for the door. Some dickweed jock came running up behind me and pushed me into the door and didn’t even have the good graces to say excuse me. I was pissed and I recognized him as one of the asshole wrestlers who pinned me down in the gym and rubbed his funky ass arm pit in my face. It was time for retribution.

I sat through all my morning classes not even paying attention, just thinking of a way to get back at this douche wad. What made it worst was that I had seen him in my lunch period before with his other jock buddies. I would have my chance for revenge before the day ended.
Lunch time came around and we had “shit on a shingle” that day. For those who don’t know what shit on a shingle is, its ground beef in some horrible tasting tomato sauce served with mash potatoes and sitting on top of toast. Not a pleasant looking meal.

When lunch period started, I got my meal and hid behind a pillar so not to be seen. Sure nuff, said asshole comes strolling in with his entourage of hooligan’s grab-assing and all sorts of jock shit. After drinking my carton of juice, I opened the carton up and tried to make the folds as weak as possible then stuffing it full of the nasty crap and those watery mash potatoes. I folded it back up and waited for the right moment when they were so engaged in their own laughter and banter they would not see it coming.

They were so full on themselves and talking about their glories on the mat and conquest with the girls that they where oblivious to my presence. Then it came, he mentioned a name that just sunk into the pit of my stomach. This was all the catalyst I needed to launch my attack. I launched the carton in the air and it sailed towards its intended target with the grace of an Eagle sailing on the up currents of the wind.

Oh the name, I forgot to tell you about that. Well I had a deep crush on a girl at school named Tony Tupea. She was an Italian girl who I knew from grade school and we always walked to school in the mornings and I carried her books to school for her. Boy was I a sucker.

Oh, the carton is still in the air isn’t it? Ok, the carton came crashing down on his head splattering crap all over him and his crew. No sooner I started laughing my ass off then a teacher grabbed my shoulder and said come with me, you’re in big trouble son.

It was worth being expelled and the subsequent ass whopping I got that evening. My dad didn’t understand why I was laughing while he was whipping me. He quit in frustration and left nodding his head. I never forgave Tony for kissing him but that’s how love goes.

Mosh Pit Doggie Style

2009-08-31T08:06:00.000-07:00

First of all, if you think this is going to be one of my infamous sexual exploits, well it ain't. So I won't disappoint you later, I 'll tell you up front. I've had to deal with a lot of my own personal issues and I think I almost have them worked out. I had to let some things go that were really putting me in a mental tail spin and that shit ain't good for me on no level. I've had to reconcile a lot of things that had been plaguing me for years and it was not healthy for me to keep revisiting those things in my mind because they kept me from moving forward and were constantly cluttering up my mind.

Either way, it's pretty much over and I am moving forward from this point. Those who know me know what I'm talking about. Life is just to short to be caught up in emotional black holes. That goes for people to. I really don't have time for the mind games and immature "she-nanegans". Yes, I misspelled it on purpose. So what. Regardless, I got my game face back on and I'm cruisin' back on the my own groove. I got a whole new host of friends out there that support what I am doing and I am reciprocating the groove their diggin'.

So yeah, in my past, I was an ominous prick. I really don't know how I lived with myself but I made it through this far. I've learned where to apply my prickyness and boy has he got some shit for you now. I guess turning 51 in a couple more weeks isn't turning out to be half as bad as I thought it would. I might even get a few birthday gifts after all the shit I've been through. If not fuck em. I can get it myself.

As for all those who have read my blogs and have had a jowl dropping moment. Get the fuck over it. Besides, a couple stories are mere fabrication but I'll never tell you which ones they are. It's the power of being able to write. I have a unique gift of being able to weave fact and fiction into a story and make it so believable you would think it was for real. Oh, and stop trying to figure out which ones are the fibs. You will never be able to do it and I think you know who I'm talking about. I was psychoanalyzing people for quite some time. I'm a big enough nut, I don't need another one screwing shit up.

With all that said, my weekend has been glorious because I have been able to shed some emotional dead weight. I have been able to relax and actually have a chance to reflect back on all the shit that has been plaguing my tender emotional state and laugh at all of it. How silly of me, won't let this happen again. So thanks to all my blogger support for seeing me through this and all those wonderful words of support. What would I have done without you folks by my side? And as for that serial mental rapist, my ego was stroked but thats about it, bah bye!!!

And now I leave you this to ponder: "There is a wisdom brothers and sisters that stands above all others. Never, ever. No matter what. Drop your egg." - Lovelace -"Happy Feet"

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what....

2009-08-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Don't eat chicken sandwiches

You have probably seen this floating around the internet already but I thought it was cute so I am posting it here.

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.' 'Why?' he asked. She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!' 'Let me see' he said.'Okay' and she showed him. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.
He said to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!'
She asked if she could look, so he showed her! She said 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!

Girls night out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

****
A little boy gets up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parent's bedroom he peeks in through the keyhole. He watches for a moment, then continues on down the hallway, saying to himself, "Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb"

****
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me.""I know !" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-sevenstitches."

****
Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"

And thats all for today, have fun out there folks, and be careful...

Christine's question and my reponse

2009-08-20T13:50:00.000-07:00

Christine asked this question and so I am honoring her request by posting this: Ok what do you do for a living or at leisure?

As a living, I am an IT Project Manager for the North Carolina Department of Transportation. This pays my bills and gives me a modest income to support my scotch habit and occasional boating jaunt (I am a power boater). I usually rent a specific condo in Oceanside (The better side of Va Beach) and chill. It is my private place and I do not take anyone but Ginger with me when I go. Ginger is some what the center of my life now and she doesn't mind my misgivings. Dogs are so great at unconditional love. We could learn a lot from them. Except for the butt sniffing thing.

Music is my other passion and although I am not an accomplished musician. I enjoy playing normally for myself and Ginger. She just puts her paws over her ears, seriously. My other music passion is that I am working on producing a couple of local artist and getting there video and audio projects recorded and marketed. Other details of this are part of my private life so I won't go into any long drawn out explanations.

I enjoy my privacy a lot but I am also a very lonely man. I am trying to get past that and be more outgoing. Other parts of my life I keep very private because I have been hurt by letting people in who did not have good intentions or my feelings at heart. So it is hard for me to open up to people. I'm trying but it is hard. So I crawl back in my shell and wait for the next opportunity.

The fact that I am saying this much is a testament that I starting to overcome my fears. I just hate putting my heart out there and it gets crushed and that’s where I am now. I sulk a bit, drink a bit of scotch, read a good book and get over it and I am back on target. I try not to dwell to much on life's issues. Besides, several women think I would make a good husband and unfortunately, they are all married. So that sums up my living and my leisure. Oh. I also enjoy going to VT football games. My nephew was playing until he tore his ACL in practice and now has to sit out this season to recover.

Scattered bunch of crap going on...

2009-08-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

Saturday was a pretty good day for me. I spent most of the day working with my artist Michael from HipHopWallStreet. We were able to lay down 4 vocal tracks from him and two from his cousin. Michael is a young motivational speaker and he uses Hip Hop to deliver his messages. We also taped 4 video commercial spots to promote his work. Two weeks ago, I was working with him and Tony (guitarist) from the Winans to lay down some other tracks. For those who don't know that I am a music producer, well this is one of the artist I work for. I have another but his contract is pending and I can't discuss him right now.

Spent most of Sunday in cleaning house and not much of anything else. Later that evening, I finished the rest of my class work. Scored a 90% on my DBMS test and 100% on my Disaster Recovery test so all is good with the world.

Monday was pretty much the same as any other day. I did manage to complete editing some documents I had been putting on the back burner. Also got in a little bit of blog time after completing my task for the day. Yes, I keep my office neat.

Tuesday was as usual. Did pretty much the same as monday. I had an eye appointment to get my eyes checked, I'm 50 years old people. The don't see like they use to. I broke my extra set and my primary set has to many scratches to be effective any more. Well, my eyes are fine and I was able to get a nice pair of glasses for $24 after all my great state health plan deductions. I'll post a picture of me wearing my new glasses when they come in.

Got home and took Ginger to the dog park. My friend Tracy was at the park with her dog Chance so I got a picture of them both. No she is not an item in my life so don't even think it. We had a bit of excitement at the park that day. One of the dogs cornered a squirrel and caught it and was running around the park with the poor squirrel in her mouth with the squirrel still crying out. By the time someone was able to catch the dog, she had killed the squirrel but not without receiving a last act of defiance bite on her front left paw. The dogs owner was in shock and some of the other park patrons helped her to her car and got her dog to the vet to get the wound cleaned and dressed. Everyone else was pretty shaken for the rest of the evening. Some of Ginger's playmates showed up later so we stayed until 9:00 so she could get some play time in.

So that wraps up this week so far. I'm sure I'll have a new story from my Oceanside trip this weekend. Drop your comments and tell me what your thinking. So any questions about what I do for a living or for leisure, nows your time to ask.

Hump Day Relief

2009-08-19T01:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I would lighten the mood a bit and treat you to a little humor. I know I can be a bit dry and boring, especially when I am writing something about myself. So with no further ado, here a few jokes I like.

A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend.

"She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed."

"Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife" replied the Boss. "Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her".

Shaking his head the young guy replied "I've tried that... it doesn't work for me. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore."

*****

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said,

"Master, may I grant you one wish?"

Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything."

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you." The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

*****

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small southern town out in the country. She orders the fried chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she chokes on a chicken bone.

Well, these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking, and they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over, and the second country boy starts licking his asshole.

She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. The country boy pulls his coveralls back up and says to the other excitedly, "You're right Billy Bob, that Hind-Lick Maneuver works like a charm."

*****

There are these three girls and their boyfriends all have the same name. So in order to keep them from getting confused, they decided to give their boyfriends nicknames. So they asked the first girl what she called her boyfriend. And she says, "I call my man 7-up." They ask her," Why do you call your man that," and she says," Because he's seven inches long and is always up. They ask the second girl what she calls her man. She says," I call my man Mountain Dew." They ask," Why do you call your man that," and she says," Because he likes to Mount me and to Do me." They ask the third girl the same thing and she says, "I like to call my man Jack Daniels." They look at her puzzled and say," Why do you call your man that, Jack Daniels is a Hard Liquor," and she says, "Exactly."

*****

...and thats all for now, tell me one of your favorite jokes. Post it in the comments section or you can email me anonymously if you don't feel brave enough. My address is in my profile.

Amazonian Beauty (Dedicated To All Strong Women)

2009-08-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

I met my good friend Yust Lundgren when I was stationed onboard the USS Peleliu. We shared a friendship with another good friend Patrick Duffy whom passed some years ago. We all enjoyed our time in the Navy and as we took on different duty stations, we drifted apart. Earlier this year, I reconnected with my dear friend and we have since been communicating via Facebook on a regular basis. Yust is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known and I respect his counsel and wisdom regardless of his life style choices. He was the driving force for me sharing some of my past with you. Yust wrote the following poem and I thought it was so indicative of some of my dearest online friends who visit my blog. So I share this song to all the beautiful women I have met online and even those I have not had the privilege to know. Remember, I did not write this, I am only sharing it with you so please don't read any more into it than it being a beautiful poem. Feel free to express your feelings about the poem in the comments section.

Amazonian Beauty (Dedicated To All Strong Women)

Oh woman of Amazonian beauty,

Those breasts are ripe for me,

You have the heart of Joan,

Sister of the fire,

You are Venus by the sea,

Your neck I kiss with passion,

You crush me so divine,

I wrap my arms around you,

Working you in Braille,

Giant with luscious lips ready in full bloom,

Hot with the taste of desire,

It is I who now must swoon,

Carry me beside the fire,

My goddess beauty in the flesh,

Ravage me til dawn,

It's so nice to have a strong woman,

To take this gentle man,

Take me in the wood!

Roll me in the sand!

You being the strong one,

Makes me no less the man,

Spirits of the wood do sing,

Drums beating, hand to hand,

With unsaid incantation,

Drive me to ecstasy, so grand,

Yes my giant of a woman,

You are the one for me,

As we dance round the fire,

It's sublime, so heavenly,

Spirits of the night we are,

Flying over flame and embers,

Passionate souls do burn in flight,

Love me powerfully, tender,

To you my will surrendered

Take me in your arms,

This beautiful Starwood night,

I'll remember you for the rest of my life....

The Faery King 2002

The Gossamer Project
Some of The Faery King's recorded work with Jo Ball on Cello including this poem

Chapter One - Enroute to the Spider Queen

2009-08-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

A loud crash and explosion shakes the ship violently. Explosion after explosion continue to shake the ship until there is complete silence. Derces shouts out, "What the hell happened? Get me a damage report. Did something hit us?" The sound of the ship creaking and groaning set a signal that all was not right. Warning beacons were going off as she shouted again, "Get me a damage report now. Where the hell is that maintenance chief Zester?" Daymar was busy trying get a damage assessment. He barked out, "The communications is down below D deck all the way to aft. We have lost containment in 35% of the ship. The only thing holding this rust bucket together is the fact the lower bulk heads were closed." Another violent shaking threw us all over the bridge. Derces was still shouting, "Somebody go find that damn maintenance chief and get his ass up here now!" I looked at Daymar and he was still busy trying to access the damage. "All right, I'll go find him."

I took off down the corridor to the engineering section to find the chief when another violent shake throws me against the bulkhead knocking me out. I start going into a dream state. I can hear explosions and gun fire going of all around me. Smoke fills the air and I look around. I see several faces but I know something is wrong. Most of these people were dead. They were killed in the battle for Ventaria or at least thats what I remembered. An explosion goes off near me and I am throw into the air, landing on a mound of rubble. I feel myself waking up again, and someone calling my name. "Lieutenant Bryman, Lieutenant Bryman, are you all right?" I shake my head violently and I see Daymar. "Daymar, what happened?" He stated, you almost bought it, the last one got three of the squad." I asked him, "Who do we have left?" He said, "We only have the two new recruits." I tell him, "Lets get the hell out of here before we get hit again!" Daymar agreed, "I'm with you on the LT! I shouted to the other two left, "Get your asses moving, were getting out of here." We take off through the smoke and fire to find safety. Immediately, another explosion goes off and Daymar dives for me knocking me to the ground and knocking me out.

I feel myself being shaken violently, I woke up and Zester is standing over me shaking me. "Bryman, wake up! Are you OK?" I say, "Yeah, good you came along. What happened?" He just looked at me and shrugged his soulders, "If I knew, I would be fixing it. I can't reach anyone!" I told him, "Derces wants you on the bridge pronto! Help me up!" We both head back to the bridge.

The Beginning of an Internet Novel

2009-08-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

I think its time to show you what goes on in my mind now that you think you know how my mind works. I have been planning to present an Internet novel for your reading pleasure. It will no contain any sex. I am not writing for Penthouse or Hustler and if I was, I would probably be a millionaire now. I enjoy scifi because that's what I do best. I don't know how long it is going to take me to finish because the thoughts are still forming in my tiny duke head. Yeah, you heard that one before. So, sit back and put your scifi cap on and enjoy my presentation.

I will give you a basic backdrop before I start the novel. This should be your reference for the main characters and what the premise of the story is about. Please do not copy this because it is copyright protected and I will have my lawyer team give you a visit. I am serious about that, so please don't test me.

The story takes place on a long haul space freighter in transit to the Spider Queen planet in the Gaelexia galaxy. The galaxy is powered by a massive gas giant create most of the solar energy for a host of eighteen inhabited planets. The Spider Queen is the fifth planet in the system and is only accessible by going through a gas nebula a least 15 to 18 parsecs depending on the time of the planets rotation. Currently, all planets are colonized with humanoids from various planets through out the systems. No aliens exist as of yet but that can change as the colonies start expanding.

The freighters name is Gersemi, and it makes it runs hauling equipment and medical supplies to the various colonies. It is a free freighter as it is owned by it's captain. She won the ship from a Ventarian merchant when he ran short and cash to pay off Zeronian pirates. The ship is in constant need of repair and the crew is sparse but can usually take care of most of the ships needs. Another source of income for private freighters is the local smuggling of desired but illegal items including drugs, rare items, and illegal contraband. It is not uncommon for ships to be boarded by the Zertes police force, a galactic force steeped in corruption and known to work with Zeronian pirates. The ship has no weapons other that those the crew carries for personal safety.

The captain is Derces Reydra, a descendant of Earth but now resides in the Omega galaxy on the colonized planet Vortesa.

The navigator is Daymar Gotetma. He comes from a long line of Ventarian navigators and is highly knowledgeable about the various star systems throughout the galaxies. He is an expert at skip jumping, a process of sling shooting a ship from star system to star system with precise navigation. He respects his captain but sometimes questions her judgement of freight choices.

Zester is the ships maintenance chief and know one knows this class of freighter better than he does. Not much is known about his background and he keeps to himself.

Oh, my name is Forseti Byrman and I am the freight chief, I make sure everything is stored in it's proper place. I know all the hiding places on the ship and even some the captain doesn't know about. I was an officer during the battle for Ventaria, the Ventarian home planet and was responsible for getting Daymar hired as part of the crew, he was a rebel in the cause and literally save my life in a heavy conflict with opposing forces.

So, you met some of the crew and got a basic run down of what is going on. The story is being told from the point of view of the freighter chief and will switch points of view based on the characters involved. You might find that there are stories within stories so you will have to keep up with what is going on. So are you game for this? Well, don't sit there, start typing. Tell me what you think. Chapter one starts this week so keep a lookout for when it posts.

Just couldn't let it alone, could you.

2009-08-15T16:47:00.000-07:00

You would think I could leave a good thing alone but you should know me better than that. Being the person that I am, I am always working at improving myself. I don't mince words when it comes to proving my point. Most folks would say I have the tenacity of a pit bull. When I bite into something, I'm in it for the long haul. To bad my past relationships didn't fair as well. But that's me, I am always searching for the better.

Well, like I said, I am always looking to improve myself and I am willing to go whatever distance to get to where I wanna go. The Navy was probably one of the best outlets I had for the adventurous part of my character.

I am reminded of a story about a monkey who was sitting in a fruit tree. Matter of fact, he was surrounded by many fruit trees. Each tree yielded an abundance of fruit and he was happy to be in that tree. He sampled fruit from various levels of the tree, they were all good to him. Now the other trees were within relative reaching distance and it would be no problem to jump from tree to tree and sample the fruit from all of them. Getting tired of the same fruit he pondered should he go to another tree and try it's fruit. About now I think some of you are starting to..., well get your mind out of the gutter, it ain't going that way. Now lets get back to the monkey. he was ponder leaving the tree he was at so he could taste the fruit from another tree. He perched himself on a limb and reached out for the limb of a neighboring tree. He could just barley make it and was able to grab hold while still holding on to the other limb with out falling. Now he was in a precarious position stretched between two trees, now unable to decide to move forward and let go of what he knew and or to let go of the other limb and stay put. Well hours passed and he could not decide which direction to go. Eventually his arms grew tired and he let go all together falling to the forest floor where he was quickly devoured by a lion waiting below. The morale of the story is never stand between destiny and decision, you'll fail and the lions will eat you up.

No, I know what your thinking. You think I'm that monkey, right? Well, your wrong. I'm the monkey that made it across to the other tree. Well, in keeping with the past discussion, I found some more interesting data on INFJ traits. Pretty interesting stuff. Here is what they had to say.

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

Introverted iNtuition

Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightful and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.

Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.

Introverted Thinking

The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.

Extraverted Sensing

INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.

Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging

by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

So are you intrigued yet? I thought so. Well don't just sit there speechless, tell me about it. Oh, Tom Selleck is an INFJ, who would have thunk. Actually it's was quite obvious to me since we both share a common thread. You'll have to figure that out for yourself.

The solution is in the clutter

2009-08-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

I know some of you will think what the hell? No, it's nothing bad or devious as I am purported to be. Just something about me that makes me unique from a lot of other people. The fact is that what most people see as normal, I see mathematical formulas. It's just the way my brain works. This is where I get my sense of intuition. If something doesn't compute, it shows as an error in my mind and I start calculating possible solutions. Oh yeah, your saying, yup, he's gone nuts. I jest you not.
I attribute this to the reason I am an introvert. So lets explore some of the advantages of my condition if you want to call it that.

10) Work Well With Others, Especially In One-to-One Relationships

9) Maintain Long-Term Friendships

8) Flexible

7) Independent

6) Strong Ability To Concentrate

5) Self-Reflective

4) Responsible

3) Creative, Out-of-the-Box thinking

2) Analytical Skills That Integrate Complexity

1) Studious and Smart

I had recently took a test (Myers-Briggs) to determine my personality type and these were the results:

You seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. You want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. You are conscientious and committed to your firm values. You develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. You are organized and decisive in implementing your vision.

So I hope this explains a little bit more about why I am who I am.

Here are some other traits I poses:

Enjoy time alone
Consider only deep relationships as friends
Feel drained after outside activities, even if they were fun
Good listener
Appear calm and self-contained
Think then speak or act

Want to learn more? Visit: http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/

The Man That Loved Women

2009-08-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

If I could say that someone was directing my life, I would have to say Blake Edwards was doing the production, writing the screen play and directing the scenes. My tag line would be: Deciding which woman in the world he loves most is driving him out of his mind. But women have that affect one me and I don't mind it. Not one bit.

Like the character in the movie, I had a major womanizing problem and boy was it a problem. You could call it charisma, or just plain luck. Once I graduated from high school, all I could think about was women. If I could list all the names of the women I had dated, it would look like a phone book. I was by no means a Casanova or Don Juan playboy. I was just being myself. Things just happened. I know, some guy is now saying to himself, "What does he have that I don't?" You got me at that man, I don't know. It just is. All I do know is that I have come to grips with it and have made some drastic changes in the way I see women in my life today. It didn't take a psychiatrist to fix the problem, just good old fashioned self control. I've become a selfless romantic.

I'm sitting alone at the dog park watching my Ginger play. This very beautiful brunette woman comes and sit down near me and starts up conversation. I try to act nonchalant and unconcerned but she looks into my eyes. I don't know what she sees but a smile comes on her face. We start to pass pleasantries about the dogs and the weather but I can see that she is looking for something more. It seems she is interested in me but I become disengaged. When I leave, I can see a bit of frustration on her face. I want to go back and apologize but I can't put myself back in that situation again. So I go. I still see her from time to time at the park. We talk but that's pretty much about it.

What is it about commitment that so many men fear? Is it that they don't want their feelings hurt? Oh, I've been down that road too many times. Maybe that's why I am they way I am. I am not afraid to express my feelings now. I've been rejected before, I just pick myself up and move on. It's not worth the time to linger. It even worked to my advantage once. The woman said no to me and I just said to her that I wish you well then. Two hours later, shes knocking at my door with a bottle of champagne an apology and not much else. Not going there so don't ask.

Now, I take what I say and do very carefully. I know that I can be an excellent husband to some woman out there. But which one, so many to choose from. Oh, I bet you are ready to give me both barrels now. The nerve of him, who does he think he is? So I apologize to those women who think I must be some kind of, well, I don't want to type all those adjectives and explicatives. I know by now that I must look like Charlie Sheen's character in (Two and a Half Men). No I am in no way that pathetic. He can be an obnoxious, pompous ass at times.

So I keep looking, somewhere, the woman who will eventually be the death of me will come along and sweep me off my feet. Oh, I don't think there will be a book or movie about it. I don't even think there will be much fanfare. I will just die in her arms content to see her beauty and smile and say I love you as the lights fade to dark. If your are going to rent the movie, I suggest getting the 1977 version with Charles Denner playing the role of Bertrand. You'll thank me for it. But women, please don't show up at my door step with an apology, a bottle of champagne and nothing else. My neighbors just wouldn't understand.

What goes on at the dog park stays at the dog park...

2009-08-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

I would have to say that I have resorted to the lowest form of single life. The dog park daddy. You know, the Caesar Milan guy, the local dog whisperer. Yeah, I hear you married folk out there snickering. "The only social outlet he has is at the dog park." Not true, it's by choice not design but my pitiful singularity is not what I wanted to write about. You see, after spending quality time at a social events for dogs, I find the dogs have socialization down to an art. When was the last time you greeted someone by sniffing their and I'm not going there, alright. Or a friendly tongue kiss all over the mouth. I still haven't figured out the genitalia sniffing thing, I guess it's to recognize who left the message on the bush next to the fence thingy.

When I decided to get a dog well over three years ago. Yeah that's her in the picture with the chewed out frisbee around her neck. I was content on taking her to the local parks for walks but I discovered she was missing something. She kept wanting to check out these other creatures walking in the opposite direction. I have to admit, I want to check out a few of the creatures too! Oh, you are sick puppies! Not the dogs, the female masters. But that's not what we're here for. A favorite TV show (It's me or the dog) recommended that you should take your dog to a dog park so they can learn to socialize with other dogs. WTF? A place especially for dogs to meet and greet? Play dates? I am just so out of it.

I located the park that was closest to me and we jumped in the Jeep and away we went. I rolled down the windows and out went her head, nose in the wind and ears flapping in the breeze. She was loving it. We get to the park and it is wall to wall dogs. Big ones and I mean the kind you could put a saddle on and ride. Medium size ones where running and playing everywhere. The small ones were nestled around there masters in fear that they might be the unsuspecting meal of a bigger dog.

Occasional scuffles and fights break out and they get broke up or splashed with a bucket of water but they usually are back playing with each other in a matter minutes after the episode. Now I have to ask this question because I can't find a good concrete answer anywhere. Are male Labs gay? I'm mean, they spend most of their collective park time trying to hump each other. I know, they say it's a domination thing but come on, these dogs have the look like they are really enjoying the act. All humped up and looking like, "Yeah, I'm gonna give it to ya, get that tail out of the way so I can get to the good stuff!"

Alright, I'm starting to get a sick mind now and that is exactly why I have a female dog. NO humping! Granted I have seen a female dog hump too! Although Ginger's other habits are put into question and we won't go there either. Needless to say kisses in the face are verboten. So now I leave you with my favorite doggie commercial. This one is so me. Enjoy! Feel free to comment about your doggie experiences.

Lists - Ten things that make you mad.

2009-08-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

Self I had to think long and hard for this one but I was able to come up with ten things that just torque my bits. It's things like this that just make me want to go up the person and either beat the crap out of them or give them a good shaking and tell them, what the hell were you thinking. So here's my list from the least to the most nerving:

Tail tats - Now some can right out sexy but if they had to reorder more ink to get the tat finished, you should not have gotten it in the first place. Beside, if this is the only way a guy can remember your name, you got some problems. This one didn't bother me as much since I don't know any woman with a tail tat.
Low rise jeans and belly button piercing - I don't really want to know you had a Brazilian and even though the piercing may be cute, I do find it quite over the top when it comes to self expression. Beside, I do not want to be focused on that part of the female anatomy. If you are not fit, it is a real big turnoff for me. Nothing worse than biscuit rolls falling over the side of your jeans.
Hipster mothers - I don't have to go into long details on this one but if you dress like your teenage daughter, well, just don't. It just sets my bells and whistles off.
Pants hanging half off the butt - If I could make a citizens arrest for indecent exposure. I would have everyone of them behind bars so they could experience what it is like to not be able to wear a belt. This is just outright gross fashion statement if you want to call it that for any race.
Door knobs in the ear - Guys, this is just disgusting and self degrading. If you want to get anywhere in the corporate world, well, it just ain't gonna happen with those eye blinding pieces of glass hanging off your ears. Even if you could afford the real things, it just ain't right in my book for men to have earrings.
Wife beater tee shirts - The name itself just evokes a full body quiver. I don't like the name and I don't care that it is related to an article of clothing.
Ebonics - When I pull up to the drive up window, I want to understand every word you are saying. If I can take the time to learn how to speak and verbalize in a coherent manor, then I think that everyone else who wants to communicate with me should do the same. Don't speak to me in a dialect I don't want to understand and I won't speak to you in tongues, OK? Yes, I can. I was not an agonistic all my life and we're not going to go into that right now. Email me on FaceBook if you want an answer.
Texting in public venues - This just sends me into a funk cloud when I am trying to watch a movie or enjoy a concert and folks clicking keys at light speed to send messages back and fourth. Give it a rest and save it for after the movie or concert, please?
Cellphones while driving - Unless and I mean unless you have hands free, don't drive while using your cell phone. I bought my vehicle especially because it had a hands free option. I look at the crash statistics and it is just sad to read the number of accidents and lives lost because people lost their attention due to cell phone use when driving and that includes texting.
This is the one you've been waiting for, the ultimate thing that pisses me off the most. Well here it is. Me! Oh what were you expecting, some political figure or stupid idiot out there. Hell no, it's me. I'm pissed off because I should not be pissed at what other people do. I just don't have control over it. What I do have control over is me and it is about time I started doing just that. I mean what better place to start changing the world by changing yourself. If your perspective is skewed and you want to blame something, start with yourself. How can I remove the splinter in my brothers eye when I have a log in my own eye.

So, I gave you my list of 10, tell me about yours, maybe together we can start a trend a get some of these things that just piss us off out in the open and try to resolve them. BTW, I will be starting my online novel soon so stay tuned for details on the subject. Well, get busy, I want those lists. Don't let me have to come looking for you...

So you wanted to know me better!

2009-08-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

I have to give kudos to my friend Tiff for the inspiration on this one. She did it so well, I had to give it my spin. So for those folks waiting for part 3 of my Australian romp, be patient, I'll have it out soon. I have to find a gentle way of putting things without going all Hustler on you. Yeah, it gets really graphic from here on and I don't like to treat any woman with disrespect so I am taking my time to tell the rest of the story and still leave her with her dignity intact. Likewise, I will never discuss any sexual escapades regarding any woman I was married to or maybe married to. Don't ask, I won't do it. So if we are dating and we break up, you could be the next episode on my blog and they said Libra's don't know how to have fun. So lets get back to this little thing I do all so well. Uh huh, yeah you thought I was gonna go there. Get your mind out of the gutter for a moment and enjoy some clean fun. Well, about as clean as I can keep it.

Feb 18, 1958 to Feb 7, 1959

Dog people are loyal and honest and obedient, guardians of the house at night.

Hmmm, except I lost my leash. But if marriage is bondage, chain me to the bedpost baby!

They can be counted on to keep secrets and for always doing the right thing.

I'm not telling a soul and I always try to be fair, balanced and impartial.

They can be emotionally distant and do not mix well in social gatherings where they are often seen as wallflowers.

Now this is a stretch. I don't do parties but I sure ain't no wallflower. I do prefer smaller venues thank you.

They do better with one-on-one relationships and find happiness in the happiness they bring to others, such as finding the most perfect gifts for their friends.

Now were talkin, I think I established that in a couple of my earlier blogs.

While it is true that they have sharp tongues and are a bit stubborn and eccentric, in a work situation they tend to work very well with other people.

My motto baby, don't push me and I won't push you unless of course, well I think you figured that one out.

What is more, they always seem to have money and make excellent leaders. Because of their high moral stance, they are inspiring beyond measure.

and I don't have to flaunt it, OK, Dong-luh mah?

Sizzling Rice Soup and Chinese Cabbage are among the keys to good health!!

I make one mean cabbage soup and I love kimchee and sauerkraut. I've laid off the rice for now. Trying to drop a few pounds.

The Earth Dog is well grounded, both feet solidly on the ground.

Unless I'm taking a piss, get my drift!

Perfectionists at heart, they see that projects have a beginning and an end, and all they have to do is see things all the way through.

I wouldn't be a project manager without it. They got this dead on.

A driving force propels their lives and they know they must never waver in reaching their goals, whether it's dealing with people, daily projects, or sailing around the world.

Mawah? I think they meant scotch and women.

Earth Dogs are brimming with confidence and are always finding four-leaf clovers. Luck happens!

So does shit but you won't see me plucking four-leaf clovers from it. I have hit the lottery a couple of times.

In the Love Arena, they take a somewhat lackadaisical approach; i.e., love is no big deal, it's just a natural part of life. If it happens, fine, but no great enthusiasm is lost here.

Don't look for any wisdom here, they got me nailed on this one. You either love me or you don't but I don't care to be jerked around. Come with some game or go home to momma. I'm in it to win and you can be part of solution but your not gonna be a problem. If your with me I will treat you like a queen should be treated. Dong-luh mah?

The best person for the Earth Dog is a strongly independent someone who relishes freedom and has an identity apart from the relationship.

I couldn't ask for a more perfect woman. Damn, this is hitting close to the mark.

When the Earth Dog and their mate do come together, it will be beautiful.

Bing bada bing baby, lets make some sexy music and howl at the moon. Ain't no need for viagra here. I got it naturally and it shows. I am ready to get all Austin Powers on ya. Yeah baby...

Famous Dog People: Chiang Chin-Kuo, Zhou En-Lai, Lee Teng-Hui, Benjamin Franklin, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley,Jacques Cousteau, King Carl XVI Gustaf, Yitzhak Rabin, Golda Meir, Mother Teresa, Jane Goodall, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien

Short of Michael and the monkey woman, I think I'm in good company. Well I'll take that back just Michael.

So, a bit of self mock but I think they hit the mark for most of it. Once again, thanks Tiff for the inspiration. Your a sweet heart darlin.

Just another boring day at the office, thinking about shit...

2009-07-31T08:12:00.000-07:00

I would have to say that at one point in my job now, I was very happy to be here. It seems to be more of a boring drag as of late. The budget crunch has put a pinch on the amount of IT projects being handed out with most of them going to more senior members of the project management staff. So, you know where that places me. It's not that I don't mind doing a bit of the grunge work, it just sucks. But at least I'm not smoking.

Well, considering where most of my friends are now, I guess I'm glad to have a job. Every couple of weeks, I have lunch with a couple of my friends who have retired from the US Postal Service where I worked for the better part of 6 years. We meet at a local beer pub located downtown Raleigh and discuss all the things that there guys usually discuss, women, beer, women and cars while sipping the golden elixir. Did I say women? I look back at their lives and careers and how they had a relatively easy time building a career road to retirement. I'm still stuck in the game just starting a permanent job so I got a ways to go.

Spending a lot of time as a contractor, I got a lot of job experience but I paid the price of not having the satisfaction of a stable job. I worked for some very large companies. Xerox, Dow Chemical, Eli Lilly, Coca Cola, IBM, HP, US Postal Service, quite a very impressive list. Well, it scares the shit out of people when they read my resume. All these companies, why didn't he stay?

I won't say that things are that gloomy, they actually aren't. I just sometime wish I had had a few of the breaks that my friends got early on in their lives. I guess I can atone it to the choices people make. Had my dad chose to stay in Virginia when he retired from the Air Force or move back to New Jersey with the rest of my mothers family, would things have been any different? I guess we'll never know, since they definitely ain't making any time machines yet. Well lets see how this all came to be.

It seems like moving to Indiana was just one of the most crappiest decisions my dad ever made. I was relatively miserable there. I was so far past most of the kids in knowledge that I tried to dumb myself down to fit in. It didn't work, they could see I was much smarter than they were and I paid a price. Middle school, High school, I was ostracized for being the kid that screwed up the bell curve. Girls wouldn't talk to me and the guys wouldn't play ball or just hang out.

I started smoking Newports to be a bad boy. I never went much farther than that. My moral compass wouldn't let me. A couple girls started to notice me. They would sit on my lap during the bus ride. Maybe to tease or get a rise out of me, or both. The bumpy bus ride provided for some interesting lap dances. One girl actually flipped her dress up over my lap and I could swear she wasn't wearing any panties. I didn't care, I was just happy to get a little attention from someone. It was good while it lasted. The family moved to the other side of town and once again and I had to started rebuilding friendships.

I was smoking Marlboro's now, different set of kids. The west side kids were a bit more should I say "rough". I made friends with a red haired girl who drove her car to school. She would pick me up most days and we seemed to hit it off. We even necked in the parking lot before classes started. By this time, I was nominated to the National Honor Society and got voted in as "Masters of Arms" for student council my sophomore year. This made me a hit with most of the white kids but to the black kids, well, I just didn't fair well. I didn't care.

If things didn't fair any better for me, I was promoted to the rank of Lieutenant in my JROTC class, so now the few kids I was pals with were now my subordinates. They kept placing me further away from build friendships, my parents, the schools, even the very kids I wanted to be friends with. I didn't care.

My junior year at school found me at a new high school and now having to start build new friends from kids who had already established friendships. I was smoking Benson Hedges. I was the outsider trying to nudge my way in. Not a good position to put myself in. I made a few friends. Mostly the folks that were like me. My moral compass was starting to twitch a bit when smoking lead to a few joints and an occasional nip of Wild Irish Rose. But, it made me fit in somewhere. I didn't care.

Senior year came and I found myself in a couple of fights and scraps. Not the one to be picked on, I defended myself and I could get down right brutal. I picked one kid up and body slammed him on the teachers desk one day when I had had enough of him. I never saw a teacher move that fast out of the room. Several of the male teachers and a janitor came in and pulled me off the kid while I was still lifting him up off the desk and pounding him back down. I was surprised I didn't kill or injure him. Just knocked the wind out of him, again and again and again. They transferred the kid to another school after they found out all the foul and vile things he was saying to me. I didn't care.

By the end of my senior year in high school, I had made it to the rank of Colonel in JROTC and had been promoted to the lofty position as Executive Officer for the entire division. I got to travel around from school to school harassing all my subordinates. I came upon on young freshman kid during an inspection. He was shaking and I asked him if he was nervous, he replied a resounding "Yes, sir!". I told him don't worry, this is just play, you look fine. I could have nailed him on five or ten gigs on his uniform but what was the sense. This was high school, not the Army. I didn't care.

I would have to say that even though the senior prom was fun, it was not much of a rememberable occasion for me as with most kids proms. Although the girl I was dating at the time was a very nice girl, I was just not into her as I should have been. I tried to make the event rememberable for her. I was thinking about the girls in college. I was smoking Kools. I didn't care.

Keeping up with the bees

2009-07-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

This was a an essay we had to write in creative writing about an embarrassing event. Hey, not everything I write is going to have a hot steamy sex scene in it. I have to break up the monotony with some boring stories about my childhood. I wasn't always a wild child eh, adult. I had a tamer more Beaver Cleaver side. But don't ask my brother Wally. No his name was actually Brad, Harold Bradley to be exact. But if you called him Harold or Harry, well, you just didn't.

I often reflect back to my younger days when I would always be on the heels of my grandfather. His wisdom seems to lead me even today, urging me to remember when life was innocent and a little less complicated. My grandfather was a retired steel worker who chose to return to his farming roots. He also kept bees, not as much for profit, but for the shear peace and contentment that it allowed him to enjoy. I learned many things about life from him, but one thing that will stay with me was his teaching me the fine art of bee keeping. From this, I gained not only a respect of the insect but a new found sense of how organized and methodical bees are and the process that it takes to make and extract honey from them.

It was one of those cool sunny mornings that I remember my grandfather asking me if I wanted to help him rob the bees. The term robbing the bees is the process of extracting the honeycomb from the hive. I was excited to be able to go out to the hives and help him extract the honey. I had watched him and my older brothers perform the ritual many times before. I donned a long sleeve shirt and long pants to protect my arms and legs from any potential stings. My grandfather gave me a helmet with a bee screen on it to protect my face and neck. I was ready for the extraction or so I thought.

As we approached the hives, my grandfather picked up one of the smokers and showed me how to pack the canister with material for smoking the bees. In the canister, we packed in leaves, pine needles, and cut up material from an old burlap sack. He said to me, “Now you gently squeeze the bellows while I light the material.” I squeezed the bellows in and out until smoke started to pour out the end of the nozzle. He said to me, “Now you take the smoker and cover me with smoke and then do yourself.” I eagerly complied with his instructions. We now smelled like burnt leaves and rags. He then showed me how to approach and smoke the hive to calm the bees. He then told me, “Now not to much smoke, I need to be able to see what I am doing.”

As I kept a light cloud of smoke going, he lifted the lid of the hive off to expose the top box. He pointed to me and said, “Now squirt some smoke along the top so the bees will move down.” The bees complied with the smoke and started moving towards the lower sections of the hive. My grandfather then took a pry bar and started lifting up the frames laden with honeycomb. He said to me, “See the combs; inside is where the honey is kept.” He then moved the frame to a set of boxes he had set up to place the frames loaded with honey in. He then removed the rest of the frames and placed new frames in their place. He told me, “This is so the bees can make more honey for the winter.”

We went to three more hives and continued the process over again. I was enjoying the time I was spending with my grandfather when a bee decided it had had enough. I thought through all my preparation that I had not missed anything. A bee would soon remind me. I had forgotten one minor detail. In my haste to get out and help my grandfather, I had failed to put on a pair of socks. The curious bee found pay dirt and gave me the pointed end of its argument. As the sting registered about my ankle, I screamed in agony, “Grandpa, a bee stung me!” He said to me, “Calm down and blow the smoke in the hive.” It was too late, I dropped the smoker and before it could hit the ground, I was halfway across the field with bees swarming after me. My grandfather laughed to see me in such distress. Off came the helmet as I ran across the tomato patch. I did not stop until I was inside the house and looking at my grandfather in the far distance going about his business still chuckling. When he finally returned from his chores, he asked me, “Why did you leave me?” I told him, “Grandpa, the bee found my weak spot!” He chuckled again as he hugged me. Several years later, my grandfather was near death and during one of the family visits, he remembered me and said, “You were the one who said the bee found my weak spot.” He smiled as everyone else laughed at my expense and embarrassment.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE or Secrets about women all men should know

2009-07-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

If you find you self in the doghouse or divorce court, just don't blame me if you didn't see the roadsigns. So your a deer in the headlights, make sure you know the code before you react.

Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. You are not going to win the argument and that's a fact.

Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Never remind her what time it is.

Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It! Just don't, please!

Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will be punished for your mistake.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome” that will bring on a “whatever”). Boy, have I fallen for that one a few times and It wasn't pretty.

Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying FUCK YOU! Unless of course she says Fuck You which of course means the same as whatever. The silent whatever is the deadliest.

Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

So now you know the code, take this message to all men. Fathers, teach your sons. Don't let them go another day without heading these words.

Getting started with this thing...

2009-07-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

I thought I would take a little time to get my own blog up and running now that I have enjoyed commenting on other blogs. It really wasn't hard once you get past the intial stages and figure out where everything goes. So, just to get things going, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your comments. Don't step on any toes and we'll get along fine here. So lets have fun and talk about things and see where it takes us.